"The sight of it makes me cringe, the shiny thin needle lying randomly on the tile floor" - When R.A. Dickey was disgusted by the blatant use of PEDs in the Texas Rangers clubhouse
In his biography, R.A. Dickey opens up a lot about his painful past and the struggles he faced. He also talked a lot about his views on the usage of PEDs and what went into his head when the scandal broke out.
"The sight of it makes me cringe, the shiny thin needle lying randomly on the tile floor," Dickey writes. "My mind races with thoughts about how and why it got there. I know as much about needles as I do about jewelry, but I'm pretty sure this isn't a sewing needle.
When Dickey was playing for the Texas Rangers, he recounted that he had spotted a needle in the locker room. The pitcher expressed how disturbed he felt by it. Stating that, the needle had made him cringe away from it.
#OTD in 2012, R.A. Dickey won the 2012 NL Cy Young Award. https://t.co/8oe0GEQZJw
The appearance of the needle was somewhat unsettling. He kept wondering why that needle was in the locker room.
Dickey didn't know much about needles but in his head, he felt like he knew what it was being used for. To him, he knew that even if the needle could be used for some other innocent purposes. All he could think about was its other uses, mainly for injecting steroids.
When R.A. Dickey talked about coping with his past as a sexual abuse survivor
In his biography, Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball. R.A. Dickey talks about his painful past and survival as a victim of sexual abuse.
"That was really, really difficult. Part of being sexually abused is you feel like you're damaged, you feel like if people knew the truth you would be looked at in a certain light, or you would be broken and fractured".
He goes into detail about how he was abused when he was just an 8-year-old child. Dickey spoke in his book about how that kind of abuse left him scarred emotionally and mentally.
The pitcher commented on how he felt like he was damaged because of what was done to him. Dickey said that he felt that if people knew about the horrible incident that had occurred to him, they would view him differently.
The former Atlanta Braves player said that this kind of thing makes you doubt yourself, it makes you feel inferior. R.A. Dickey felt that people would think he is broken if they knew about his past abuse.