When Aubrey Huff felt the blues after winning his first World Series title under drug influence
Aubrey Huff, a former MLB player, suffered from depression and anxiety and was addicted to Adderall.
In a 2017 interview, Huff disclosed a lot about his past. He talked about how his teammate had introduced the drug to him in 2009 as a hangover cure, after which the Giants' former third baseman ended up getting addicted.
Huff took the drug regularly while playing and was still on it come the 2010 World Series. Huff ended up helping the San Francisco Giants win the World Series, but inside, he didn't feel all that well.
Speaking in an interview about what happened right after he won the World Series title, Huff said:
"The next morning I woke up next to my wife after we won the World Series, and I looked her dead in the eye and I go, 'Huh. Now what?'
Aubrey Huff continued:
"It was a feeling - I was coming down from my Adderall - it was a feeling of worthlessness and emptiness because I worked my whole life to win a World Series, but I felt so empty and so ashamed."
The former Giants player added:
"So I went through that whole 2010 playing under the influence. … I think in a lot of ways, Adderall is more potent than any steroid. You can take because, as you know, baseball is a game of mental toughness, and Adderall gets into your head and makes you feel invincible."
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Aubrey Huff also revealed that continued usage of Adderall led to him getting into gambling and eventually led to his divorce. He stopped taking it in 2012 and has been clean ever since.
Here's the link to the full interview.
When Aubrey Huff recalled when he tried committing suicide
Aubrey Huff suffered from anxiety and depression, and it took a toll on him. Huff used Adderall as a means to control his emotional state. He recalled how he felt after taking the drug for the first time:
"I just popped it naturally and within 30 minutes... it was a feeling of euphoria that I had never felt in all my life."
Huff added:
"I knew right then and there I was going to take this stuff the rest of my career."
However, it brought about more harm than good. After he stopped taking the drug in 2012, his mental health deteriorated
He hit rock bottom in 2014, two years after his retirement, as he contemplated suicide.
"In 2014, I found myself in my closet, on my knees, with a .357 Magnum, hammer pulled back, staring at myself in the mirror. I was ready to pull the trigger. This was a low-low point in my life. I had hit rock bottom at that moment."
Although Aubrey Huff suffered through most of his career, he still ended up winning the World Series twice.