Best quotes on Alastair Cook that were never said

DISCLAIMER: The following quotes have been written as a joke and are NOT true. Please read them with a pinch of salt.

England’s skipper Alastair Cook scored the slowest fifty of his career today, taking 171 deliveries to reach the milestone. Cook, in the pursuit to save the Vizag Test, batted so slowly that he could give Internet Explorer a run for its money. Here are some of the best quotes on Alastair Cook that were never said.

“The bowling might be bad but when Cook thinks he wants to block it, God forbid anyone trying not to sleep” - A spectator at Vizag

“No matter how terrible and inexperienced you are as a bowler, he can block you. Brilliant!” - Stuart Binny

“When Geoffrey Boycott retired I thought it was the end of boring cricket. But then came Cook, the King of Blockathons.” - Sunil Gavaskar

“I would pay all my money to watch Alastair Cook bat.“- An Insomnia patient

“When he hits it, it stays a dot ball. When he doesn't hit it, it stays a dot ball.” - Ravindra Jadeja

“How do you measure Alastair Cook? The excitement you felt when you watched wet paint on a wall dry, or that amazing conversation about weather that you had with your friend, or when you were sitting in the financial modelling class in the first year of MBA - you just can't put a number to it.” - Chetan Bhagat

“This man makes Sunil Gavaskar's commentary sound exciting.” - A Sportskeeda Journalist

“I see myself when I see Cook batting.” – Internet Explorer

“Cook is to English cricket what Ashutosh Gowariker is to Bollywood.” - Karan Johar

“Commit all your crimes when Cook is batting. They will go unnoticed for even the Lord is dozing off to sleep.”- A placard at Vizag

“Don't bowl him good balls. He puts a dead bat on the bad ones.” - Ravichandran Ashwin

“If Cook bats well, the viewers sleep well.” - Harsha Bhogle

“You were a great habit, Cook.” - Kumbhkaran (Ravana's brother)