England be prepared, the Ashes is coming
England cricket love the process, they have an affinity for sticking to the set template, they can resist planning, and perhaps when Winston Churchill said, “Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential” he was describing England cricket.
And yet they falter. Planning is consistent, their execution is erratic.
Cricket has often been compared with life and there are several reasons why there is a striking similarity. Both are vacillating, they scream out for consistency, they do not guarantee success and they are never unswerving.
England were meandering along in the 50-over format and were shunted out of the 2015 World Cup by Bangladesh. They had followed a process like a caged tiger and their music suddenly stopped. The men who matter in England cricket met, shook their heads in disbelief and decided to throw the planning book out of the window.
They needed disruption and they decided to shake the entire system. Players suited to 50-over cricket were roped in, the coach and captain preached aggression in unison and the team followed suit. This was not 'English' by any means, it was risky, everyone followed a hunch. Two years down the line that disruption has proven to be a masterstroke.
England cricket's biggest Achilles heel was white ball cricket but it is now bolted, locked away, and they are chugging along like a well-oiled machine.
Test cricket is what they savour; they have given it the top most 'priority' and have always accorded it the biggest chunk of their revenue, and thus there was no question of any more furrowed eyebrows!
Or so they thought!
Ever since the 50-over renaissance, England cricket is witnessing a radical shift in its approach. The ECB has quietly moved the County Championship to the fringes and expanded the Twenty20 league in order to cash in on the ever-expanding T20 space.
So then who is surprised that this English side have lost 6 out of their last 8 Test matches? If we extrapolate it further, they have lost eight of their last 13 ever since Misbah's merry shoulders paid them a visit last year.
Along the way, Alastair Cook became disillusioned and gave up the captaincy. The Iron throne became too thorny for him and the man from the north Joe Root was given the command.
The Ashes might still be several months away and Australian cricket in a colossal mess (once again coffers are to be blamed), but Andrew Strauss and Joe Root already have plenty to worry about.
Hence, when England were blown away by South Africa in Nottingham, who themselves were shrugged off just a few days ago, the old scars resurfaced.
"I watched in a bit of disbelief," coach Trevor Bayliss told Sky Sports. "It was a poor performance. I wish I could explain it as it has happened over the last few years: we put in one good game and then a poor game. We do not need and we should not panic".
Words were carefully chosen, but if Bayliss tells you he is shocked, the performance has to really be shambolic. The problems have been there ever since England slipped down the slope in Test cricket; many stop gap arrangements were called for, they failed, they had to.
If ever there was planning needed, it was now!
The current director of England cricket, Andrew Strauss stepped down in 2012 and ever since, Cook has not found a stable partner to walk out with to face the new ball. Five years have passed, 12 players have been tried, no one survived, even Joe Root and Moeen Ali were tried, even they failed at the top of the order.
Keaton Jennings is the new man at the top. He did start with a century against India on debut, but seldom looked settled at the crease right through the new County season; now Jennings looks thoroughly out of place against the South African seamers.
He is very similar to Cook, and Shane Warne, who loves yapping about aggression with his every breath, observed that there would be few teams around who would be wary of the Jennings-Cook combination at the top. They prefer 'seeing out' the new ball, survival comes first and run-scoring features only when they are convinced they have a solid chunk of willow in their hands which is meant to hit the ball.
They are not surviving, and they are certainly not scoring. Big problem!
And then there is the vacant number 3 position. Cook pushed Root to number 3, a very wise move considering the type of player Root is. He is busy, loves playing his strokes and shifts the pressure back on to the opposition. And yet, the man sat on the Iron throne and decided to push himself down to number 4 to allow his Yorkshire friend Gary Ballance to resurrect his England career.
There were few mutterings here and there about Ballance's inclusion in the side, but these naysayers were slapped with his unreal numbers so far in the Championship.
He averaged more than 100 in eight County Championship matches before the first Test match which included an extraordinary double of 108 and 203 not out against Hampshire back in April.
Root knew his mate very well, so did South Africa. Ballance took guard at number 3 and managed 20, 34, 27, 4 in his four innings. His initial movement of going back to the stumps has been exposed again. Not only this, he also broke his thumb and is now ruled out of the third Test.
The number 3 spot is vacant again, England might try Mark Stoneman, and the anxiety will continue. To be fair to the selectors, Stoneman has scored three championship first division centuries for Surrey this season!
There are few teams who entertain as much as England do with the white ball, but surely this 'positive' frame of mind has to be mellowed down against the red ball.
At Trent Bridge, the band of aggressive men needed to bat out two days to eke out a draw. They were bowled out in 44.1 overs.
20 wickets in 96.1 overs!
All this aggression is perfect on their day; Stokes, Moeen, and Bairstow can snatch the game away from the opposition, but surely they need to adapt according to the situation of the game.
Test temperament has become extinct these days.
"Bring back the boring old days, England."
We can cut Root some slack, he is only two matches into his tenure, but Trevor Bayliss now knows England cricket well. Slam, bang, thank you man, is all good and pompous in One Day Cricket, Test cricket is a different kettle of fish.
The Australian has to help the English face the Australians.
However, this Australian was only appointed because he did not come with any baggage. Is this then impeding England cricket?
Bayliss does not know County Cricket, he has not seen many players coming through the ranks, how can he dictate terms to them?
The biggest problem!
Bayliss has worked wonders with the team, but he is at crossroads right now. He has to stamp his authority; he does not how, heck, he is not even on the same page.
There is this saying about reputation: “It takes a million years to build and forge a reputation, but it can be ruptured by the conduct in one fleeting, passing moment".