IPL 5- The fizz seems amiss!

 

Reports suggest that the fifth version of the IPL is taking a nosedive in terms of viewership. Though, ‘hamare pyare bhaiya’ Mr. Rajiv Shukla would say – “We are doing bery well in terms of viewersip”. Actually, the serious fan would mention the plausible reasons as  – Overdose of cricket and non-sensical matches. Well, my take is slightly different. Here are some of the reasons I think why the IPL-V is not screaming from rooftops (like Paoli Dam/Poonam Pandey ) – “Watch me.. I’m HOT”! (even though Dhoni tries his best to take matches to the last ball)

1) SRK’s team is winning – No more spy blogs/ no more 3 captain rules/ no more crazy Buchanan – Bloody, finally a settled team which is making profits and winning (for a change)

2) Harbhajan – He has not slapped anyone, nor has he given anyone a “Maa-(n)-ki” gaali, nor has he lifted Nita Ambani this time around. (I guess Mukess bhai has put a condition – you can lift my wife only after lifting my son)

3) Appam Ch**** is nowhere to be seen. He is not crying on screen, nor is he dancing, nor is he swearing at any batsman, nor is he getting clobbered all over. Rajasthan Royals seem like a team full of sleepwalkers. (who between are still getting the job done)

4) No more Priety/Shilpa – No more PDAs with Ms. Zinta and her players, while Madame Shilpa has taken maternity leave. (no eye Candy)

5) Cheerleaders – After full flight in the first 4 seasons, this breed seems Passe! Nothing epitomizes this better than the hideous costumes that SRK has given to his cheerleaders. (Where is his dear designer/director/producer friend KJO!!)

6) Commentary – Danny M (Danny Morrison) still sounds that much more excruciating with his “Double Rs/Double Ds/Half a dozens/DLFed/Citis. Laxman Sivaramakrishnan still cannot stop supporting CSK or sleepwalking through his stints. Ravi is well.. still the robot that he is, programmed to perfection!

7) Gayle – For all his brilliance, he is making all RCB games boring. He should be given a handicap of tying one hand behind while batting. Comes and hits sixes at will – Bowlers ka kuch tho lihaaz karo!

8) Sachin hasn’t resumed playing.

So, to summarize – BCCI – Pls. spice it up!