"In 2011, I was so ashamed of who I became as a human being" - Robin Uthappa recalls his own mental health issues in the wake of Graham Thorpe's death
Former Indian batter Robin Uthappa opened up on how he dealt with mental issues like depression and anxiety before coming out of it in 2011 in the wake of Graham Thorpe's death.
Thorpe, who played for England in the 1990s and 2000s, took his own life as per his wife's admission. Former Indian pacer David Johnson died two months back in June for similar mental reasons.
Meanwhile, Uthappa had previously courageously voiced about his mental issues between 2009 and 2011 and how he overcame the same.
He took to his YouTube channel to once again address the issue with the recent deaths of Thorpe and Johnson.
"In 2011, I was so ashamed of who I became as a human being. It's absolutely ok to not know what you have to do next. Sometimes existing for that one day, is what you have to do next. Often you don't need light at the end of the tunnel. You need the light only till the next step," said Uthappa.
He added:
"We are going to be talking about depression and suicide. We recently heard about Graham Thorpe and David Johnson from India. VB Chandra Sekhar sir who was the rock of CSK. I have been there as well. It's not a pretty journey. It's debilitating. You feel like you are burden to people you love . It's challenging. You feel like you are worth less."
After debuting for India in 2006, Robin Uthappa was a regular in the white-ball sides until 2008. He also played a key role in India winning the innaugural T20 World Cup in 2007.
However, the now-38-year-old struggled to find a place in the Indian side since 2009 and only played a handful of games there after.
"I have often felt when I was going through clinical depression, to be burden" - Robin Uthappa
Robin Uthappa admitted feeling like a burden when dealing with mental issues like clinical depression.
However, the right-handed came out of it in style, helping his IPL franchise Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) win their second title in 2014 by leading the tournament's run-scoring charts with 660 runs.
"We have heard about multiple people, who have ended their lives due to depression. I perosnaly have been their as well. It's heavy, that's how it feels. I have often felt when I was going through clinical depression, to be burden. I was seeking answers," said Uthappa.
Uthappa's last game for India came in 2015 as he finished his international career with over 1,183 runs in 59 white-ball outings.