Satire: Sachin Tendulkar reacts to his 200th Test controversy

Sachin Tendulkar: Miles to go before I sleep..

Disclaimer: This piece is satirical and should be taken with a pinch (or make that a bowl) of salt.

Sachin Tendulkar has come on the front-foot and hit BCCI’s favour for a six, just two days after the Board invited West Indies to play a two Test series in India this November. There were rumours all over the place that the BCCI organized this series just to help Tendulkar play his 200th Test match at home, without any kind of pressure.

Reacting to rumours Tendulkar said, “I don’t know why the series was organized, but I have decided to opt out of it as the Test series is clashing with the Children’s Day week, which I wish to spend with my kids who are growing quicker than Rohit Sharma’s batting average.”

West Indies Cricket Board expressed its disappointment as its cricketers had already planned to give Tendulkar a Gangnam Style Guard of Honor at Wankhede where Tendulkar had to sneak in to the pitch between their legs. Darren Sammy also tweeted that he has extra pacifiers to keep Tendulkar’s kids occupied when the Little Master would be busy playing the game.

The BCCI reacted strongly with N Srinivasan saying, “We’ll try and postpone Children’s Day so that Tendulkar can play the two Tests.” Jayalalita, the chief minister of Tamil Nadu supported N Srinivasan saying they will never celebrate Children’s Day in their state anymore.

The knowledgeable crowd from Chennai asked the authorities to move the game to Sachin’s favorite venue Chepauk, to lure him into taking part in the Test series. The good news is, this whole episode has still turned out to be a better comic flick than Rohit Shetty’s Chennai Express.

“It’s been 24 years and people still think I need favors,” gutted a disappointed Tendulkar. “If the BCCI and the selectors think I’m planning to retire after my 200th Test, they have another thought coming. I understand if they did this for my 250th Test in 2017 when I would possibly be playing alongside my son Arjun but why now?,” he questioned.

Secret sources tell us that the BCCI had planned a fairytale script for Tendulkar’s 200th Test by including Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid and the poor man’s Tendulkar – Vinod Kambli – in the playing XI.

On getting to know about this, Arnab Goswami asked the secret source to hold on to that thought and turned to the BCCI to ask whether they were also planning on having Tendulkar’s good old friend Steve Bucknor as the umpire for his 200th Test.

Nita Ambani, who knows as much cricket as Karan Johar knows, supported Tendulkar’s decision and said, “Yes, Tendulkar’s decision is right. He wants to play his 200th Test for the Mumbai Indians in the Champions League T20.”

Keeping calm, like he does always, MS Dhoni was the last person to react to this controversy. “Doesn’t matter where Tendulkar plays his 200th Test, who he plays against and when he does. I just want him to do it before Rohit Sharma plays his 200th ODI,” he said.