Satire: A masterclass plan by Srini Mama

The President of the Board of Cricket Control in India, N.Srinivasan was, no doubt, a devastated man that day seeing the below tweet from Sachin Tendulkar, which came after seven months of his retirement announcement.

“To all my fans and well wishers, I am back”.

The former batting great of India scared the c**p out of BCCI via twitter when he hinted his return to international cricket on 24th of June’2014. While his one billion devotees were thrilled by the return of their Almighty God, the face of the BCCI officials who had invested their mind, body and soul in forcing the retirement of the great man on 10th of October’2013 started to turn pale, for obvious reasons.

Hiding his disappointment and frustration, Mr.Srinivasan took no time in rushing to the Mumbai Maestro’s house in Bandra. After an hour’s meeting with the Indian cricketer, the grim looking BCCI president left the place in a hurry, clearly indicating that he was not happy at all. Though neither Tendulkar nor Srinivasan was available for comments, a person from the close quarters of the BCCI president, who wished to stay anonymous, revealed the story surrounding the entire episode. The shocking truth behind Sachin’s retirement last October also came out in the process.

Sachin was never interested to give up playing cricket, not even an ounce, even after continuous persuasion. That made Srini to use his last of the trump cards and seemed to have lured him with the possibility of watching Roger Federer in Wimbledon throughout the two weeks, should he stay away from cricket. The little master- who once came under severe criticism in 2011 for having opted to attend a Federer’s match on Center court, skipping the tour of West Indies – it is believed – had asked for a “Wimbledon window” then which was not acceded to by ICC (BCCI to be precise). This thought might have struck Srini Mama as the negotiations were going on between him and Sachin. Mincing no words, he said, “June’14, two weeks of Wimbledon – Think about it.” Sachin was quite happy with the deal though.

So this was what which was agreed between BCCI and the batting legend during 10th October 2013. Sachin would be announcing his retirement on October 2013 but it would only be a temporary arrangement to let the youngsters don the mantle in the batting order. He would, however, come back from retirement once Federer decided to quit tennis. BCCI also felt it better to keep him as a choice rather than completely showing him a door because if the youngsters failed to perform they could always rely on leaning on the shoulders of the most experienced veteran. But just as it looked like the young looking Indian team was faring well under the leadership of MSD in all forms of the game, home and abroad, Sachin shocked the entire world, BCCI in particular, by announcing the unanticipated biggest comeback ever in sports.

Srini Mama, the bully he is, was totally livid. He vowed to make sure that the things were put in place. He flew to Switzerland in no time and after a couple of days when he returned to India, he looked extremely pleasant. As the people were wondering what the secret behind him going to Switzerland was – there came a tweet again from Sachin Tendulkar – but this time though, the emotions were totally different as compared to what happened a few days ago when Sachin made his comeback announcement. It was heart-breaking for the fans where as it was totally heart-warming for the BCCI, as his fresh tweet read thus:

“No plan for comebacks. Retirement stays”.

None was able to believe this tweet. If Sachin’s sudden proclamation of making his reappearance came as a big shocker, the shock grew even bigger when he contradicted his earlier tweet in just a couple of days’ time. So, how could a person who used to think twice even while choosing to play a particular shot, ended up making decisions in haste in a span of just 48 hours was the question which was in everyone’s mind.
On further investigation by our secret sources, the whole episode came to limelight. Srini went to Switzerland not to take rest. For long something was haunting him when people used to say that “IPL” was Lalit Modi’s brain child although the latter was no longer in charge of cricket’s biggest fiesta. He wanted to create something of that sort with a bit more global appeal than the IPL. He was just not having a clue what to start. It was at that point of time did Tendulkar make his announcement of a possible comeback. So, when he visited the “little master” in Mumbai seeking the reason behind his return to serious cricket, Sachin seemed to have shot back saying, “Listen, you told me that I would be able to enjoy Wimbledon in full and see Federer play on Center Court if I were to quit international cricket. I was happy with your proposal then and so did I agree. Now Federer’s form has gone even worse than Ishant Sharma’s bowling form that he did not even get qualify to play for Wimbledon. It may not exactly be your fault that he has lost his form totally but still it was you who gave me your word and so I have no other alternative other than to make a comeback. I have no work at Wimbledon anyway since Federer is not going to be there.”

Once he left Sachin’s house, Srini Mama had a long thought about how to make the 41-year old former Mumbai batsman reverse his decision. Devising a plan good enough to hit two birds with a single arrow he took the immediate flight to Switzerland. Much before leaving the country, the president of the billion dollar baby, made himself the chairman of ATP, a post which has remained vacant since Brad Drewett’s death. It is almost like an unretired Sachin Tendulkar picking himself to play for India he made himself the chairman of ATP. Then he went to Switzerland, happened to be Federer’s own country, and formed a new Grand Slam event there which would be the fifth in the ATP calendar. The rules of the event are very simple. It would be played in grass. What more important is it would be played during the same fortnight as that of Wimbledon as a rival slam. Federer would pick himself for the next ten years and ranking would never matter. The Swiss master would be playing six warm up matches leading into the final and he would be the automatic finalist waiting for his opponent to play the championship match. The prize money for the winner would be MSD’s half a year earning and the other half would go to the winner up simply making sure that the Swiss maestro gets to earn past a tennis’ player’s retirement age.

What else would Sachin want to postpone or bury his retiremen plan? Precisely this was what he did. With Srini starting a high profile tournament, more global in appeal as compared to that of IPL, he also made sure that Sachin stayed away from cricket forever. More importantly, with that sort of prize money, who would love to play in Wimbledon? Not only Wimbledon, in fact every tennis tournament is planning to give Federer a reprieve now, inviting Sachin all the way from India. Wimbledon also is being moved to late July as a mark of respect to Srini Mama.