Satire: Alternative career options for some Indian cricketers
After the series defeat against England, no one (except Ravindra Jadeja) can be guaranteed a spot in the test team for the coming series. So what if some of our front-line players get dropped? Ignoring the fact that with just 600 rupees a family of five can sustain all their food requirements, the dropped players will surely need something to sustain them for a living.
Let us take a look at what alternative career waits for these players, just in case they get dropped from the team.
Gautam Gambhir – Actor
Well, if not for Farhan Akhtar, I am pretty sure that Gautam Gambhir would have made his Bollywood debut in "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag". He doesn't even need to act to get the job. It's just natural for him. He knows exactly how to run between the wickets. In fact, only he knows how to run properly in the entire team!
No wonder, somehow he gets involved in many run-outs. Sadly, he is blamed for everything. This peculiar talent would have helped him seal a role in the film, instead of Farhan Akhtar. Nevertheless, he can still apply for the role of Usain Bolt in Hollywood (if there's ever a film made on him).
Virender Sehwag – Hair Specialist
He along with Harsha Bhogle can start a hair fixing company. They wouldn't need an ambassador. They themselves can promote their company. If possible, they can even make an international partnership if Wayne Rooney agrees to join them.
Sachin Tendulkar – Holiday Planner
With Sachin picking the matches he plays, he has made enough family tours to become an expert holiday planner. Maybe Club Mahindra can hire him. The tourism industry would boom! Also, the Rajya Sabha can hand him the job of finding luxurious tourist spots.
Virat Kohli – Actor
Well well, he has the right skills to become a successive actor. His good looks (or so the girls say) and his pretty open mouthedness (you know what I mean) will surely land him a role in films like the sequel of Delhi Belly.
Ravindra Jadeja
No one can remove him from team. After all, he is RAVINDRA JADEJA! And he plays for Rajinikanth's hometown in IPL! Mind it!
MS Dhoni – Writer/head of CAI (Curator Association of India)
MSD can still be involved in helping the team win (or so he thinks) by instructing the curators and forming a CAI (Curator Association of India). He and only he knows how to make an unhelpful pitch help team India win. Moreover, he can write a book "1000001 excuses to make after losing a cricket match", which would make it easy for future captains for finding reasons for a loss.
Piyush Chawla – Street cricket bowler
Once upon a time, there was a Googly bowler who could sometimes bowl leg-spin. He is none other than our Piyush Chawla, who nowadays has lost his ability to bowl even googlies. In short, he has become a slow bowler (or rather bowler who gives away runs and helps maintain good over-rates). So no place is better for him than "Gully cricket", where no one cares whether he can take wickets. "Bas jaldi bowl karega toh batting ki mauka jaldi mil jayega."
R Ashwin – Batting coach
R Ashwin has been scoring runs with as much consistency as MS Dhoni's failures with the bat. So Ashwin can apply for the position of the Batting coach for team India, and I think he can do a much better job than the current coach of India.
Pragyan Ojha – Bowling machine
He bowls, bowls and bowls. No one really cares whether he can take a wicket or not. It just matters that he bowls whenever you want him to. No wonder he has been used so much by our captain (when other bowlers are tired or just bored to bowl). He can replace the bowling machines in malls, where one can play 3 overs, and if the batsman scores more than 50, is given 2 overs extra.
This article is written for humorous purposes and is not intended to hurt anyone.