Satire: Inspired by Infosys and Narayan Murthy, Ganguly to come back to lead Pune Warriors
Disclaimer: This article is a satire and should be taken with levity.
In an interesting development, legendary cricketer Saurav Ganguly is all set to make a comeback to beleaguered IPL team Pune Warriors XI.
Apparently, his inspiration is Narayan Murthy of Infosys, who came out of retirement to drag the troubled IT bellwether out of the stinkin’ hole it’s managed to get itself into.
“Both of us are actually quite similar if you think about it. We managed a team that was the strongest for the large part of the 2000s and then stumbled like nuts after we left. We both have passionate followings. And, hehe… We were both part of teams that believed in rotating leadership!”, said Ganguly. They do not have any other similarities. Murthy is not left-handed, Ganguly does not have a working knowledge of COBOL, and Murthy did not remove his suit and twirl it around in the boardroom after Infosys won their first client.
When reminded that Pune Warriors might not, actually, ever play the IPL again – Ganguly was nonplussed. “Doesn’t matter… I assure you the Kolkata crowd will still cheer for me, even if only I show up!”
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This might have set a bad precedent, because more and more cricket teams are now looking to get legendary old stalwarts back to play for them.
The West Indies are trying to convince Brian Lara and Vivian Richards to come out of retirement. “It’s not that we don’t have quality players in the West Indies,” said a member of the West Indies Cricket Board. “We have plenty of them… Only issue is, they’re never available for the national team, always going abroad to play domestic T20 competitions!”
Zimbabwe are trying to string together a squad with world-beaters Andy Flower, Neil Johnson and Murray Goodwin.
Pakistan, the most unpredictable of the lot, surprised everyone by saying that Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis are making a return to the cricket field. This has thrilled cricket fans, scared the bejeesus out of opposition batsmen and generally acted as a huge relief for TV viewers tired of their commentary.
Also, chronic retire-r Shahid Afridi has announced that he has made a comeback. So nothing new there.
The Indian selection committee, in a moment of unparalleled brilliance, have announced that they’re going to ask Sachin Tendulkar to come out of retirement and return to Test match cricket. “This is our last attempt to get him to retire… Maybe this will confuse him and he’ll finally go,” said a selector. When asked why he didn’t just drop Tendulkar if he was so critical of his performance, the selector said, “Are you mad?! Who’s going to feed my children and wife after I’m killed?!”
Incidentally, the Indian cricket board also brought back another legend responsible for high growth and monetization in a Murthy-esque move: Jagmohan Dalmiya.
With Dalmiya running Indian cricket, Murthy running Infosys, Sachin still playing, it feels like the 90s all over again. “Nah, not until Cartoon Network stops being crappy,” said one critical gent.