Satire: Inspired by IPL, 'Spot-reality' scandal hits WWE

In a major shock to wrestling fans around the world, a big scandal has broken out, where a wrestler has been seen accepting money to deviate from his set script and actually fight. Referred to as ‘spot-reality’, this act has landed the wrestler in trouble as he’s been booked and taken away for questioning.

“This is a sad day in the history of the WWE“, spoke chairman Vince McMahon. “We spend so much time developing the scripts, making sure the players have weeks to rehearse them and get into character. And then you have players going and sc****** it all up by fighting for real? I mean, who does that?!”

The player in question was supposed to lose a match quite feebly and set up a rivalry between the victor and the current WWE champion, starting a whole new saga which Mr. McMahon would milk over the next four months. Instead, the player chose to actually fight and ended up winning the match! This ended up shocking everyone.

Vince McMahon: “The idiot! Now we have to find another way to get the rivalry into the question. This player was insignificant but now fans demand to see more of him because he beat a key championship contender!”

The opponent: “Gawrsh, this has never happened to me in all my 10 years of wrestling before; a person deviating from the script. I wonder what hit me!” The answer to that being two clotheslines and a piledriver.

The referee: “I’m not sure what I was supposed to do! I know this wasn’t the way the match was supposed to end, but he had knocked the opponent out unconscious and had pinned him. The crowd was wondering why I didn’t count for a whole two minutes and I finally had to do it!”

The scandal comes right after the horrific ‘spot-fixing’ scandal in the cricket tournament, IPL, where some players from a franchise indulged in ‘spot-fixing’. Said noted cricket historian Kartik, “Spot fixing is when participants play according to a script. Spot reality is when people deviate from a script. In both occasions, things are quite screwed up.”

Is it so? We spoke to a fan from Rajasthan (the city associated with the tainted players in the IPL) and about 300 WWE fans:

“So that cricket match was fixed? Quite honestly, we couldn’t tell the difference. Besides, it’s the IPL. Some batsmen whacked some bowler for sixes. So as long as that happened, who cares?

“So that wrestling game was real? Quite honestly, we couldn’t tell the difference. Besides, it’s the WWE. Some guy whacked another on the head with a chair behind the referee’s back and won illegally. So as long as that happened, who cares?”

“Sreesanth bowled badly? What’s new? How could we tell the difference?”

Clearly, fans can’t tell the difference either way. Since entertainment is all they’re looking for in any case, we too guess it really doesn’t matter.

The WWE scandal has officials worried though.

“What if people decide to deviate from scripts more often? We will need scouts for actual wrestling instead of acting skills. We’ll have total unpredictability in terms of who wins matches, etc – so that means our entire schedule and plan will be unknown from the beginning!”, moaned McMahon, echoing a reason why the BCCI possibly wants to make the whole of the IPL scripted and make it more convenient to manage.

Next up, however, the tainted IPL player Sreesanth has been hired by the WWE talent hunting squad. “His over-the-top expressions, acting like he’s won a Nobel Prize after a minor achievement, histrionics and propensity to do on-screen drama is just perfect for the IPL”, said a talent scout for the WWE. “We’re thinking of naming him The Coconut Tree”. Time to change your DTH subscriptions.

DISCLAIMER: The article is a humourous take on things, and is not meant to offend anyone. Readers are requested to read it with a pinch of salt.