Satire: IPL 6: Bowlers in favour of "Mankading" Gayle

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and is meant to be in jest.

The IPL has been BCCI’s blue-eyed boy ever since its birth. The sixth edition has caught on (rather, it has been made to catch on) with the Indian public and the media like no other previous edition. Recent news from the centre is that certain things about the IPL have created a hullabaloo in the cricketing world. Without much ado, let’s take a look at some of the inside news that deserve special mention!

With Chris Gayle unleashing a crusade against the bowlers, one only wonders when this savagery will cease. Adding to the reports of Gayle haunting the bowlers in their nightmares, R.P. Singh has recently made headlines claiming that the roof of his house has been blown off by the Gayle-storm. He has appealed to Rajeev Shukla regarding the matter but the latter is yet to respond. The mass mutilation by the bulky West Indian figure, who is often mistaken by infants as the humanoid Scooby Doo, led to a five-hour long conference session involving the IPL Bowlers’ Association. According to sources, the solution to the problem at hand (which is how to dismiss Gayle) has been reached. “Mankading”, an act wherein the bowler runs out the non-striker before completing his bowling action, has received unanimous voting. However, when approached, Sunil Narine, secretary of IPLBA, refused to comment on this matter.

Meanwhile, Virender Sehwag has expressed disappointment after facing much flak for his Facebook status update wherein he asks for the winning strategy. He has, reportedly, been showcaused by the franchisee for indulging in activities pertaining to captaincy. Apparently, it was Jayawardene’s role to put up that status update. Clearly, there’s been a lack of communication between the two right-handers as Viru, allegedly, has told close relations that it was Mahela who had hacked his account and updated that controversial status. On the other hand, the veteran Sri Lankan has clarified that he just wanted Viru to get back the old feeling of being at the helm!

Virat Kohli has admitted to reporters that his team is suffering from communication problems. This was first diagnosed when the foreigners misread the terms MC and BC as some new fielding positions at the covers. According to de Villiers, Virat has still not taught them his “new language”! The South African also revealed that he is co-authoring a book with his RCB teammates. Named “Breaking ties – Mastering Superovers”, the book is scheduled for a release at the end of this season.

Kolkata Knight Riders principle owner has been trying to make his boys feel at home! The players have certainly understood his wish as they have already begun working on the art of choking! Jacques Kallis has admitted that he’s been receiving phone calls and SMSes from fellow Proteans eager to join the KKR squad and feel “at home”! However, with the likes of Marchant de Lange already adorning the benches, Vijay Dahiya isn’t too keen on recruiting more chokers!

And last but not the least, how can an article end without some Sir Ravindra Jadeja news? The prolific all-rounder (regarded as the All Time Greatest by himself alone) has expressed his desire of baptizing himself “Ravin-kanth”, after the South Indian superhero Rajnikanth had confessed in close quarters, two days back, that he felt only Sir Jadeja had it in him to be his competitor!

That’s all for now. Further information will be available once Archana Vijaya is back to replace Rochelle and Karishma Kotak.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and is meant to be in jest.