Satire: Mickey Arthur dropped from last Test match for not giving any homework

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction intended for humor purposes, and should be taken in jest.

Mohali - In a shocking turn of events, Mickey Arthur has been dropped as Australia’s coach for the fourth and final Test match against India in Delhi for forgetting to give homework to the Australian cricket team.

Arthur is least bothered with the latest development.

The four players who were dropped for the 3rd Test are set to return and Michael Clarke will double up as the coach cum captain, taking cue from IPL teams.

In what was supposed to be a regular team meeting post Test matches, the entire Australian team was waiting with bated breath for Mickey Arthur to show up and give them their next homework. The wait went on for a couple of hours but Mickey did not turn up. The Aussie cricketers went back shocked. Few players were happy though as they were not going to be subject to more homework.

“Usually at the end of a Test match, Mickey has a chat with the team and gives us the next assignments. The boys (mostly) love it and have learnt various skills in MS PowerPoint. I had a discussion with Mickey on Day 4 and we were looking to give them an MS Excel assignment this time around,” Clarke confirmed.

He added further that “Mickey did not turn up for the meeting and has been missing ever since. We, as a unit, have always stressed upon the importance of culture and attitude. Mickey unfortunately could not comply with it and we had to take the tough decision of dropping him. It was a circle in the sand decision.”

This Faking News reporter managed to get hold of Mickey Arthur. He was in his business attire and was making his way out of BCCI’s office in Mumbai. He was trying to shy away from the media, but our reporter managed to corner him.

“Well, I have to take care of my future as well. There are 10 Ashes Tests coming up and with this team behind me, there is a chance of another whitewash. Cricket Australia will most certainly sack me,” Mickey Arthur said.

“I have heard BCCI takes overseas defeats and whitewashes lightly and a home series defeat is excusable too. I was just checking with them on future avenues with the Indian team,” he revealed.

On being informed about the sack from the team for the last match, Arthur said that he was willing to take it on his chin, taking into consideration his long term aspirations.

“My future allegiance lies with BCCI and Indian cricket. I am sure being dropped for one match doesn’t hurt me or the team,” said Mickey with a smirk.

BCCI officials confirmed that Mickey Arthur had indeed visited the BCCI office to express his interest in offering his services to Indian cricket. He has applied for two positions: one, for being the Indian coach when Duncan Fletcher’s contract expires next year, and another for the commentator’s position to replace VVS Laxman.

BCCI is reportedly more interested in his application for the commentator’s job. Details are being worked out.

A keen cricket follower and armchair critic, Sandhu Singh commented on the latest development, saying: “VVS, Australia and torment have always had a special relationship. He first tormented the Aussies with his batting, and now in Australia’s tour of India, he is tormenting us with his commentary. Mickey Arthur will be a much better replacement. And oh yes, Sachin must retire!”

Meanwhile, Ajinkya Rahane was seen surfing TCS’s site looking for job openings or walk-ins in Delhi.

Article published with permission from Faking News.