Satire: On David Warner's love for turtles and fear of lights

Nap time for David Warner

One fine day in alternate universe, I decided to interview a genius by the name of DAVID WARNER. For a long time now, his unique conversational skills and philosophical tweets pondering over the greatest mysteries of life have been famous all over the Twitter world. This was enough to compel me to have a heart-to-heart chat with this extra-ordinary human being. Below is the transcript of our conversation.

Me: Hi David..Thanks for finding time to talk with me. So, tell me…what are up upto now?

David: Good day of recovery, now waiting for the sun to go down for dinner lol.

Me: Ok, that’s cool. What’s for dinner tonight?

David: Just had an amazing chicken Parma, so yummy.

Me: Wow, seems to be your favourite food.  I hope you had an amazing day today.

David: its been a really relaxing day today!! Need some gossip from around the world!! Any one got any news that is not related to cricket??

Me: Errrr….gossip? really?

David: Not on private no more

Me: Well, that’s good. Ok, moving on…What do you love the most, Dave?

David: I love mountains!!!

Me: kkk…What I meant is….

David: I love hearing the diverse perspectives that people have about aspects of our world. I LOVE TREES!!

Me: Ok..so I get it, you are environmentally conscious….but there must be something else that you love…

David: Loving the rest….

Me: That was very vague…I don’t get most of the things you say. You are very weird…

David: For all the Indian people who kindly tweet to me and don’t abuse me I will say sorry to u, I hope I did not offend you.

Me: No offence! I didn’t abuse you for godsakes…You are just awesome.

David: Thanks for all the kind comments, means a lot guys. Thanks for the support. Haters still have no life haha. Whinge whinge

Me: Haha…very mature, Dave…very mature