Satire: Reasons behind Monty Panesar's recent action

Monty Panesar urinated on the bouncers of a nightclub a couple of nights ago. Nobody seems to know why he did this. Therefore, I’ve come up with a list of possible reasons.

1) He was drunk.

2) They told him ‘pull my finger’

3) They told him he had played the same Test 48 times.

4) He wanted to prove that he was funnier, cooler and more daring than Graeme Swann.

5) He really really really had to use the bathroom.

6) He figured this was the only way he could get the better of bouncers (yes, pun intended).

7) They told him to ‘p**s off’ and he took them quite literally

8) He wanted to do his bit for England. He figured this was the best way to mentally disintegrate Australia; David Warner punching Joe Root is no longer the most embarrassing thing to happen on this tour.

9) Instead of being remembered as a decent spinner, he wants to be remembered as the guy who urinated on bouncers. There have been a lot of decent spinners in cricketing history, but not many cricketers who have urinated on bouncers. His place in cricketing history is assured.

10) He lost a bet.

11) He wanted to help the newspapers with their puns, for example, ‘Monty pissed off-toilet in career’.