Satire : Sidhu versus Rameez Raja
Disclaimer : This is a satire, and should be taken in jest.
It is an amazing experience to watch an Indo-Pak match on Star Sports. The constant bickering of commentators keeps the viewers’ interest alive even during the most mundane phases of the match. Here is an attempt to capture the same:
Scenario 1 : Mohammad Irfan bowls a bouncer to Sehwag.
My views : A normal bouncer outside off stump, left alone by Sehwag.
Sidhu : Irfan fires like a cannon but Sehwag has eyes of an elf. Quickly drops his shoulders and well defended by Sehwag.
Rameez : What a ball by Irfan, he has Sehwag in all sorts of trouble there. Almost got his head off his shoulders.
Scenario 2 : Junaid Khan bowls an out-swinger to Gambhir.
My views : Good bowl, pitched on off-stump, attempted drive by Gambhir, beaten by the ball.
Sidhu : Gambhir was elegant as a hedgehog, he just couldn’t middle the ball.
Rameez : The ball has swinged and seamed at the same time. Only Junaid is capable of doing it. Gambhir survives a peach of a delivery.
Scenario 3 : Rohit Sharma walks out to the crease.
My views : Why the hell is he in the team?
Sidhu : Rameez, did you know that Rohit’s favorite dish is Schezwan Hakka Noodles?
Rameez : Sherry, I was under the impression that he likes Maggi two-minute noodles.
Scenario 4 : Yuvraj hits Ajmal for a huge six.
My views : Short ball, pulled by Yuvi over deep mid-wicket for six. Good shot.
Sidhu : The Punjabi-puttar has smashed the ball out of the ground. It has gone like a rocket. Americans would identify it as an UFO tonight.
Rameez : …
Sidhu : What do you say Rameez?
Rameez : Good ball by Ajmal, just on the shorter side.
Scenario 5 : India wins the match.
My views : Party!!
Sidhu : A comprehensive victory for India. ‘Butter chicken’ and ‘tangri kabab’ and ‘lassi’ is on the menu tonight.
Rameez : A very good fight put up by Pakistan. They had India in all sorts of trouble till the last over of the match. Misbah would be satisfied with the performance.