Satire: Sir Ravindra Jadeja's mystic powers

And then He said, ‘Let there be light.’

2 runs needed to win off 1 ball. Only Sir Ravindra Jadeja can get out caught, take a single and win the game for his team with a ball to spare. Don’t blame RCB. Stop crediting CSK. It was Sir Ravindra Jadeja’s mystic powers that helped his team overcome the Royal Challengers yesterday at Chepauk. The crowd went berserk and many watching the game on their television were stunned to silence.

Here are the possibilities of what could have happened in those 30 seconds before the final delivery.

1. Sir Ravindra Jadeja kicked some dust that moved the popping crease at the bowler’s end a yard behind.

2. Sir Ravindra Jadeja used his mystic powers to force the umpire to signal a no-ball and quickly altered the video tapes like Saif Ali Khan does in the song ‘Pyar ki pungi baja kar’.

3. Sir Ravindra Jadeja got into RP Singh’s mind and forced him to bowl a no ball – Inception while the person is awake.

4. Sir Ravindra Jadeja used a real-time real-life software called ‘RJ Paint’ similar to ‘MS Paint’ to cut a part of the ground that belonged to RP Singh’s run up area, so that his calculation goes wrong and oversteps.

Here are some reactions from players and experts on the sequence of events that unfolded in the last 30 seconds of the game.

If RP hadn’t bowled a no-ball, Sir would have used his mystic powers to push the boundary rope ahead of that fielder before he took the catch. So, let’s not wonder how it happened, let’s be happy it happened! – MS Dhoni.

Sir Ravindra Jadeja could have also reduced the target without anyone getting to know and they could have won the game without all this heart-pounding drama. Respect him for keeping us at the edge of our seats. – N Srinivasan.

I’m just happy Sir Jadeja took the game to the final ball. Knowing his mystic powers, he could have finished the game in the powerplay overs. – Virat Kohli

I thank Sir Ravindra Jadeja for not finishing things off in the first three balls by hitting three sixes in a row. He could have easily done that – RP Singh

From now on, I will change my cliched commentary phrase, ‘This is just what the doctor ordered’ to ‘This is just what Sir ordered’. - Ravi Shastri

I was watching the game with N Srinivasan and his astrologer. They’ve told me to rename my airlines to Sir Airways if I want it to fly again. I’ve nothing to lose now, I guess I will try doing that. – Dr. Vijay Mallya

This isn’t the first time Ravindra Jadeja’s mystic skills have come to the limelight. A couple of days ago, MS Dhoni called Ravindra Jadeja ‘Sir’ several times on Twitter. But Dhoni doesn’t seem to remember any of it. Ravindra Jadeja went for a whopping 2 million USD in the 2011 IPL auctions. Video footage suggested that the team owners continued to raise their hand and bid for Jadeja while their faces suggested a sorry expression wondering why they are still bidding.