Satire: Special Parliament session to finalize title for Ravindra Jadeja

Ravindra Jadeja walking on water

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction intended for humor purposes, and should be taken in jest.

New Delhi. After wasting working hours over all kinds of issues, the honorable MPs of India today decided to keep aside their differences and agree to work for a day to finalize an honorable title for cricketer Ravindra Jadeja.

Of late, the all-rounder has been addressed by various titles – Sir, Lord, Superstar, Savior, King, Rajinikanth, etc. – which has made it highly confusing for the fans and authorities. Parliament will finalize a single title and settle the issue once and for all.

“We were afraid that various Aadhar cards and UID numbers could be issued to Sri Ravindra Jadeja after pre-fixing or suffixing his name with such titles, as he’s been popular this way. We acted preemptively to avoid any such embarrassment,” a government source disclosed.

Although royal titles like Rai Bahadur,Nawaab, etc. have been abolished by the Indian Constitution, experts believe that this won’t come in way of finalizing a title for Jadeja.

“This is beyond royal now,” a constitutional expert told Faking News. “Jadeja is now in the divine zone. And the Constitution doesn’t ban divine titles such as sri sri, param pujya, his holiness or hazrat.”

It should be noted that originally the titles such as Sir, Lord, etc. were used to make fun of Ravindra Jadeja. But lately, they have started sounding genuine.

“Congress members see a hope here, and they feel that one day Rahul Gandhi too will silence those who make fun of him,” said a party source, explaining why Congress had issued a whip for all its members to be present in the House to choose a title for the cricketer.

On the other hand, BJP is keen to honor Jadeja just because he’s from Gujarat.

Communist parties are impressed with him being a Lefty, while Mamata Banerjee likes his cool blue shades.

Surprisingly even Mulayam Singh Yadav has agreed not to take any U-turn on the issue as he has been very impressed with the turn that Jadeja has been able to extract in the ongoing series.

The cricketer will be honored with the title during the final Test against Australia that takes place in New Delhi later this week, the moment he gets Australian captain Michael Clare out for the sixth time in the series.

Article published with permission from Faking News.