The Unwanted XI of World Cup T20 2014

Stuart Broad

The 2014 World T20 has been an overwhelming success, and we have had some star players making their presence felt. While they have rightly got all the accolades, the players who haven’t had a great tournament might feel left out. Those players deserve a mention for their contribution, or the lack of it, to the tournament, and hence I’ve assembled the unwanted XI (not wanted back in their own countries) of this World T20. Before I reveal the players who have made the cut based on their consistent performances, I must say that it was quite difficult to choose just 11 players from a vast number of choices, especially with the entire England team jostling for spots.

World XI

Shikhar Dhawan – When Rohit Sharma ends up outperforming you, you know that you’re in trouble and a guaranteed starter for the World XI.
Chris Gayle – West Indies fans wouldn’t mind the disc jockey at the cricket ground playing the Gangnam when Gayle is batting, as he managed to move his feet more while dancing than batting in this tournament. The fact that bowlers almost seemed happier bowling to Gayle than Lendl Simmons encapsulates the tournament he’s had.
Shane Watson – For a cricketer, Watson spends more than half of his time outside the cricket field recuperating from injuries. Despite being free of injuries in this tournament, he continued spending his time off the field.
Dinesh Chandimal – Chandimal volunteered to drop himself from the Sri Lankan side midway through the tournament despite being their captain. Considering the shrewd selection move by Chandimal to drop himself, the Sri Lankan Cricket Board appointing him as a selector would make more sense than playing him as a captain.
Shoaib Malik – Malik has to be lauded for the sheer consistency he has shown in being selected in the worst XI of ICC tournaments time and again. The Pakistan Cricket Board is perceived to be a dysfunctional and incompetent cricket body, and that notion is reaffirmed every time the PCB selectors pick Malik in a Pakistan squad.
Kamran Akmal – No unwanted XI is ever complete without an Akmal featuring in it. Jose Mourinho recently termed Arsene Wenger “a specialist in failure”, but that is a term patented by the Akmal family. Kamran Akmal, in fairness, is probably the most versatile member of this XI. He not only underperforms with the bat but also has the unique ability of routinely dropping sitters.
Luke Ronchi (wicket-keeper) – Once Luke Ronchi realized that he was never again going to play for Australia, he used the fact that his parents were from New Zealand to try and represent New Zealand. Judging by his displays in the tournament, he might soon have to find ancestors belonging to an ICC associate nation in order to continue playing international cricket.
Stuart Broad (captain) – We have often heard the term “leading from the front” to describe captains. The opposite of that would be true of Stuart Broad. Broad, for most of the tournament, shielded himself by neither bowling in the powerplay nor in the death overs. It was a pretty good effort then from England to beat Sri Lanka, the T20 World Champions, considering that they did so with a non-playing captain. To Broad’s credit, though, he did respond to the criticism coming his way by bowling in the difficult periods against the mighty Netherlands.
James Faulkner- His only contribution to this World T20 was motivating his opponents West Indies for their game against Australia. He talked about his dislike for the West Indian players prior to their match, and I assume his liking for the West Indies hasn’t increased much since then.
Mitchell Starc- Starc seemed more interested in watching his girlfriend Alyssa Healy play for the Australian women’s team than representing Australia himself. If he continues to bowl the way he did in Bangladesh, he certainly will have plenty of time on hand to catch his girlfriend in action.
Jade Dernbach- I don’t think even Dernbach’s mum can deny that he deserves a spot in the XI. He is rightly referred as England’s specialist death bowler by the team management, as the hopes of England cricket fans die every time he bowls; however, none of that matters for the England Cricket Board as long as he doesn’t disrupt England’s team ethic. It’s totally amusing to see Dernbach getting punished repeatedly by batsmen, but what is even more hilarious is his expression of amazement every time he gets hit.