5 biggest nonsense transfer rumours
The transfer season is perhaps the best season for the news outlets. It is a chance for people like us to make as much money as possible from clicks and hits as people will almost click on any transfer rumour that includes a decent player.
The transfer merry-go-round, right now, is at its full swing and the media outlets are weaving stories faster than grandmas weave sweaters. Almost every other day, Lionel Messi joins Manchester City or some big player joins China (which is, quite terrifyingly, really happening).
However, I like to help people, at least I try. And this is just one of my attempts to help the other outlets as here are 5 bollocks transfer rumour that could happen (and that they could use)
P.S This is a piece intended for humour and humour only. If you think this is for real, then...you shouldn't think that because it isn't.
#1 Luis Suarez to Korowai
Korowai, what's that? you may ask. Well, in short, they are a society that still eats Human flesh as a part of some voodoo ritual. If reports from Klooles Aytikes are to be believed, Luis Suarez is interested making a shock swoop to Korowai’s local football team.
His wages are yet to be disclosed, but the contract clause that has been leaked is that Suarez can bite as many players as he wants to as long as he doesn't call the dark-skinned Korowai people using the N word.
If, however, the Uruguayan falls prey to his ancestral habit of using the N word as a term of endearment, he will be given only fruit salads for every meal as a punishment.
However, the former Liverpool player is said to be very happy with the offer as he will get to bite human flesh without being under uncertainty of getting fined like he got when he bit Otman Bakkal, Giorgio Chiellini and Branislav Ivanovic.