Desi musings during the international break

The scene is a regal, luxurious and slightly intimidating office in a prominent part of the good, old town of Manchester that owes its allegiance to the color red. A man is on his knees, arms raised in the promise of deliverance.

For as the international bandwagon makes its dreaded pit stops across the European footballing continent, and indeed, the world, and the rest of us moan and groan at the sheer stupidity of it all, David Moyes breathes for the first time in weeks.

Everyone at Old Trafford has left for the day. But Moyes, that manic gleam in his eyes more pronounced than it has ever been, kicks back, a cold beer in hand, as he opens up a pack of potato chips and turns on the widescreen TV to see a familiar face.

“Roy Hodgson! Lets see you make sense of Wayne Rooney. Want my Januzaj to play for your England, do you? I’ll show you, we’ll show them all. Won’t we, my precious?”

And he clutches the photo of Adnan Januzaj even more tightly, as the camera retracts, and Moyes’ theatrical laughter fills the room.

That, right there, is the most exciting thing that will happen this weekend.

Football fans the world over bemoan the international break, and this one is no different. The yawn-inducing spectacle will see Spain and Germany top their respective groups, and the only one who will be complaining is Vicente Del Bosque, who now has to decide if he has to book a ticket to Rio for a Mr.Fernando Torres.

Although, judging by what Torres is capable of when someone pisses him off, as Jan Vertonghen found out a couple of weeks ago, it may be prudent to keep the Spanish team’s flight plan a secret for the time being.

But Vertonghen did bring about a sighting of the mythical Torres of old in that game, at least until the Spaniard got sent off. So maybe just get him a seat next to Sergio Busquets on the long flight down to Brazil; that ought to do solve Spain’s striker woes.

I knew I should never have doubted my ability to be a world renowned manager after all those seasons of Football Manager. They built a statue of me in front of Ashburton Grove! Top that, Sir Alex. Oh, wait; they already have one of him chomping gum down beyond the Sir Alex Ferguson End.

Moving on, not satisfied with engineering the transfers of Fabregas, Alexis Sanchez and Neymar to Bracelona in recent years, Dani Alves today poked his teeny, tiny nose into the Selecao’s business. In a tone that betrays the fact that the world works exactly how he wants it to, the full-back cautioned in-form Athletico Madrid striker Diego Costa from making any rash decisions in choosing to represent Spain over his native Brazil on the international stage.

It is now a foregone conclusion that Costa will turn out for Brazil next year.

More importantly, in an obvious new development, makers of FIFA 14 have alerted gamers that Dani Alves is now the most valuable player in the game, with an influence rating of 100. Should you have any troubles in signing a player, all you have to do is click the specially designed “Bring ———- to me” option available in Alves’ player actions option. Fill in the blanks at your heart’s content, kids.

Meanwhile, how Belgium failed to qualify for Euro 2012 is beyond anyone’s comprehension. But we will definitely see this alarmingly talented team in Brazil; all they need is a draw against whoever is their next opponent.

Lets face it, people, the big boys are all going to make it to the sands of Brazil, one way or another. The favorites will romp through, and England will scrape through. And an assorted supporting cast of easily interchangeable names will complete the crew for the biggest show on earth. And it will be the biggest party on earth, simply because, as Vin Diesel would say – “This is Brazil!!”