If Footballers were Superheroes

With all the hoopla surrounding Batman, Spiderman, The Avengers and the upcoming “Man of Steel”, it’s hard not to be thinking of superheroes at the moment. My inner geek has been fighting my inner wannabe-sports jock for quite a while now. So, given my constant tendency to daydream like a 5-year old, I guess it was only inevitable for me to imagine  - “What if footballers were superheroes?”

Carlos Tevez – Beast (X-men)

Carlos Tevez was born harboring a genetic mutation that was passed on hereditarily. Surprisingly. the mutation remained latent in the early years of his life. However, football was about to change that for good. Growing up in the hardcore, amoral confines of Fort Apache, young Carlos soon realized that football for him meant either going hard, or going home. He soon developed a ferocious personality on and off the pitch, which only served to aggravate his mutation. This led to a full manifestation in his adolescence, giving him superhuman physical strength, speed and grit. Also, as per the X-men comics, throughout his history, the Beast undergoes progressive transformations to his physiognomy. Likewise, Carlos Tevez just fixed his teeth.

Yayyyyyy!

 Gianluigi Buffon – Spiderman

Born in Carrara, Tuscany to a family of natural athletes, Gigi Buffon was born into a pressure to perform. This obviously had scarring effects on the tender child. As Gigi sat sobbing under the dingy stands of local club Parma on a gloomy Sunday morning, he was bitten by a radioactive, Golden-Glove winning spider. The fragile kid was suddenly transformed into a strong, confident and super-agile athlete; one that, in the years to come, would do his entire athlete family oh so proud. And as the spider gods would have it, both Parma goalkeepers received injuries that very same day. He was subbed in and then began his illustrious career in shot-sopping. Saves made with such grace, Buffon would put even Black Swan ballerinas to shame. He then made his move to Juventus to protect the city of Turin. Most superheroes fight criminals to clean the streets; Buffon fought attackers to keep clean sheets.

If that isn’t superhero reflex, then I don’t know what is.