Manchester United: Ole's at the wheel, asleep
Sometimes, I wonder if Manchester United's former player Rio Ferdinand wakes up every day and regrets saying this on live television, after United beat PSG in 2019:
Listen, Manchester United might not thank me, but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it. Let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Manchester United are BACK!
Sure when he said this, United had performed a near-miraculous comeback against PSG in the 2018-19 UEFA Champions League to get into the quarter-final. They were 2-0 down from the first leg, and needed everything to do in Paris. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was United's caretaker manager after the failed Jose Mourinho stint.
The air was full of emotion, and like many United fans, Rio Ferdinand, too, got caught in the euphoria of the moment. Two and a half years on, Solskjaer's magic has died down. The few ups have been interspersed by too many downs, and even the most ardent of Red Devil fans have had enough of this charade.
Can you blame them really?
Manchester United's recent results have been abysmal
In the last 15 days, Manchester United been beaten with a cumulative scoreline of 0-7 by two of their biggest rivals - Liverpool and Manchester City. They are two of the last teams they would ever want to lose a game against, let alone within two weeks.
Even at the beginning of this season and despite United finishing in second place last campaign, fans clamoured for a change in manager. It is not often that teams finishing second in the league become antsy about their manager. That's because 12 points off the top and four ahead of the third-placed team is nothing to scoff at.
However, considering United's rich history and pedigree in the competition, it was an underwhelming return. So Red Devil fans were adamant about wanting a new manager if the team wished to return to the Premier League elite. Eleven games into the new season and already nine points adrift of league leaders Chelsea, it turns out they were right after all.
United, even after acquiring Cristiano Ronaldo, Jadon Sacho and Raphael Varane - all tested and proven players - are worse off than they were before. They are currently languishing in fifth place in the table, but they could drop down to seventh by the end of the week.
Manchester United floored by Manchester City at home
If recent results weren't deflating enough, United's drubbing at home against Manchester City will hurt even more because of the manner in which it happened.
First, Pep Guardiola did not make a single substitution throughout the game. That's right. He did not feel the need to even get fresh legs out there, neither in offense or defence. That's how comfortable his team was throughout the night at Old Trafford.
753 - Manchester City completed 753 passes in their win over Manchester United - the most any team has completed in a Premier League match against the Red Devils since the 2003-04 season (when Opta began recording pass data). Olé.
Secondly is the even more damning stat that all Manchester City players had more touches of the ball than the highest managed by a United player. Harry Maguire and Victor Lindelof had 67, the highest for United, while for City, Ilkay Gundogan had the least with 69.
City came out to play in the second half, after having gone 2-0 up at the break. Considering how the game panned out, it would be an understatement to say they did not break a sweat. They cruised through the second stanza, never needing to get past the first gear.
It was almost as if the 0-2 scoreline was acceptable for both teams. Can you think of anything that would make Sir Alex Ferguson more disappointed than that statement?
Nevertheless, City still had four shots in the second half compared to United's solitary shot. They even managed to hit the woodwork twice, leaving one wonder which was the home team on the night.
Neither keeper had to make a single save after the break. How in the world does a team with as much on the line as United not allow the opposition keeper to not make a save for 45 minutes? Especially when trailing and playing at home, in a derby game?
Not to mention Solskjaer started the game with Van de Beek, Jadon Sancho and Raphael Varane on the bench. He opted to go with the same three-at-the-back formation he did against Atalanta, and played a midfield of Fred and McTominay.
That might have worked against the Italian side, but Joao Cancelo ran rings around Aaron Wan-Bissaka playing as the right back. The Englishman simply could not fulfil both attacking and defensive duties against City's relentless fast passing.
David de Gea's heroics lent a semblance of respectability to the eventual scoreline against City
It was only thanks to David de Gea's athleticism that the game did not turn into a rout for United. In fact, De Gea was kept busier by his own players than Ederson was by United's strikers.
To add insult to injury, City fans actually chanted Ole's name and sang the "Ole is at the wheel" chant. It must be the worst feeling in the world to hear rival fans singing your name and thanking you for staying.
Man United had more shots on target against their own keeper than against Man City 😳 https://t.co/3FMrhvW8kv
If Manchester United had not procrastinated so much, they could have at least tried to rope in Antonio Conte to be Solskjaer's successor. That is not possible now, as the Italian has joined Tottenham Hotspur. And without a major manager available in the market now, sacking Solsjkaer becomes a trickier proposition.
How long can Manchester United simply coast on Ronaldo's ability to pull them back with a goal or two? As evidenced in the game against City, getting Ronaldo on the ball is difficult when playing against opposition who know what they are doing.
United could have used the summer window to rope in a defensive midfielder, but no. They broke the bank for an attacker when they already have a few warming the bench.
Such has been the United way of late, sadly. Grim days continue to loom ahead with Ole, albeit asleep this time, on the wheel.