Media Muppets: Benteke is off to Manchester United and newspapers pick on 'Little Girls'

Christian Benteke

It’s getting to the point where you only have to wait a week for the last Benteke transfer rumours to die down, before a new one starts. When Benteke handed his transfer request in, then granted it was open season for press rumours and made-up stories, but then Benteke signed a new contract with Villa. A few days passed, then Spurs the team who the player a few days previously prime for (if they wanted or could afford him), were suddenly being linked again to him. A week or so passed, then it was Arsenal’s turn to be after him. Wenger had signed anybody at that point, so maybe Benteke was on his list? Nope. A week ago, the transfer window slammed shut. Does this stop the media firing up the Benteke transfer rumour stories – hell no!

In other news – are teenage girls getting excited on Twitter about their beloved popstar worthy of having their tweets interpreted literally and then farmed out as headline news? Apparently so…

Alan Nixon of The Daily Mirror – flogging the eternal dead horse that is the Benteke transfer rumour

’Manchester United eye Christian Benteke transfer as Moyes looks for his future muscleman – David Moyes knows he may well lose Rooney in the future and Benteke would replace his power up front…Moyes made a personal check on Benteke, 22, on Friday against Scotland…Benteke is an option in the next couple of windows and would even be eligible for Europe if United plunge in January.’

1. Slow news day, lets rehash and combine the Rooney and Benteke transfer stories from the summer. United aren’t going to lose Rooney in the near future. If he was going to go, he’d have gone this summer, and not the January window. Same with Mr Benteke.

2. Benteke replacing Rooney’s power? They’ve used the word ‘power’ to try to blatantly make the two players comparable. Power is hardly the first word you’d use to describe Rooney. It’s hardly a like-for-like replacement. They both score goals and are good players – that’s about as far as the comparison goes.

3. So, Moyes was at a Scotland game and Benteke played in it. Oh, of course Moyes wants to sign Benteke then! Come on…Moyes is Scottish and there’s also the fact his new £27.5 million signing Felliani was playing in the game. You know, he might have wanted to check up on him. Also, every player in the ‘hot right now’ Belgium team is worth a look at, if you’re the manager of United.

4. Considering how United flapped around in the summer transfer window, they’re hardly be likely to be able to prise Benteke from Villa’s hands in January.

5. ‘Benteke is an option in the next couple of windows’. What is this? Forward-planning in rumour mill articles? Is this so the Mirror can say, in a year or so’s time, ‘we brought you the Benteke transfer story first!’ Why not just cover all bases and just write, ‘while Benteke remains a footballer, he’s an option for United’?

6. Come on…at least wait until next summer with the Benteke transfer rumours.

Media Muppet score: 9/10