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Of Gervinho and some much needed closure

When “The Forehead” that is Gervinho’s made its final turn away from the bright lights at the Emirates (to astound his new suitors at Roma at just how it is suddenly all you can see once you acknowledge its presence), the overwhelming emotion, among the Arsenal faithful, was one of relief.

Yeah, the forehead potshot was probably uncalled for. Except that I think it was long overdue. Although my time as an Arsenal supporter has remarkably coincided with the barren trophy-less years (what? it isn’t my fault!), I have mostly refrained from criticizing the many forgettable jokes that have come through the doors of this great football club.

Why? Silly question, really. Any Gooner out there worth his tears will bellow out to you those immortal words “In Wenger we trust”. Through all the trials and tribulations, the heartbreaks and the controversies, I have always been able to see the man who has been preventing this club from falling apart at the seams.

Call it youthful naivety, but my once-teenaged heart swore an eternal loyalty to Wenger’s ways, and its faith is only starting to be repaid. But now that the Forehead is off blinding the unfortunate souls who pack inside the Stadio Olimpico on those glorious European nights, I thought that I could get around to a bit of deserved Gervinho bashing, and some much-needed closure.

Armed with the swagger of a thousand potential Ozil assists, I was slipping into my boxing gloves, not even caring to put on a mouth guard; when, without as much as a warning, the Ivorian lands a vicious right hook, bare-knuckled and all. In his 6th performance in a Roma shirt, the man notched up a superlative brace against a Bologna side that was literally tripping all over itself for the Gervinho show. And I was knocked out cold. I mean, come on ref, I didn’t even hear the damn bell go off!

To his credit, Gervinho has been getting better and better since his summer move to i Giallorossi. But you’ll forgive me if I did not see that knockout blow (viciously illegal knockout blow, by the way) coming. After two years of making me wonder if he even understands the concept of the goalpost, I see two goals of unerring precision and quality (in the same match!). I mean, that would be like Nicklas Bendtner scoring a hat trick on his return to the Emirates. Oh wait, that guy still plays for us.

While trying to forget the Dane’s pathetic attempt to summon the Force; with that awful Ewan McGregor-inspired Obi-Wan Kenobi look that he sports today, I found myself diving headfirst into the mystery that is Gervinho. And guess what, buddy, the gloves are coming off. The combined efforts of Sir “Holier-Than-Thou” Alex Ferguson and Jose “The Mouth” Mourinho could not have saved you. Although you could really do with some of that hair-dryer treatment everyone keeps talking about; anything to cover up that forehead.

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