The seven stages of relegation for a Newcastle supporter
Relegation is not sudden death; It does not jump out at you like a jack-in-the-box, nor does it, take you unawares like a higher than expected restaurant bill. Relegation is a slow demise; a gradual and grim realisation that your team’s days in the top flight might be numbered.
As the season nears its end, those clubs with insufficient points will try to scramble free of the trapdoor that is about to open. Three will go down when it does, and it looks very much like my team will be one of them.
As a supporter of Newcastle United, I started the 2015/16 season with my usual irrational optimism, but this was well and truly kicked out of me over the following weeks. Our abysmal start saw us take just one point from our first five games, and we were dumped out of the Capital One Cup by Sheffield Wednesday at St James' Park.
Yet even after that rather unsubtle hint that all might not be well at the club, relegation was only discussed by the most pessimistic of supporters. As the season progressed, however, it became clear that the Magpies would struggle to swim away from the plughole they found themselves circling.
So, with our departure from the top flight looking extremely likely, here are the seven stages of relegation I have endured this season.
1) Shock/Disbelief
Manchester City 6 - 1 Newcastle United (Saturday 3/10/2015)
The bolt from the (sky) blue that stunned us into the realisation that we might not be as healthy as we'd like to think we are. After taking the lead in the first half, Newcastle utterly capitulated (Aguero bagged five), and the full-time whistle was met with relief by shell-shocked Geordies.
This was nature's way of telling the players that they need to try harder.
Relegation? No way - this was just a blip.