Tales from the Tabs – Sunday 9th June

This week, I begin with an apology. An apology I can scarcely believe I’m making, but an apology nonetheless. Alan Nixon and The Daily Star on Sunday, last week I mocked, derided and ridiculed your professional capabilities (as I’ve been doing for the last 20 years to be fair). ‘Nicko’ stunned everyone by correctly calling Jesus Navas’ move to Man City, whilst The Star went one further by calling both the Navas and Fernandinho transfers. Gentlemen, I bow down to your insider knowledge…for now.

The Sun

A mediocre week last week, but The Sun have stepped up to the plate in response to their trouncing by The People and The Star. Leading the way, they give a date for Cristiano Ronaldo to be unveiled at Old Trafford – 8th August – which I’ve already taken the precaution of booking off from work to frantically F5 manutd.com all day.

F5 a website? Seems a bit like overkill to me… Courtesy of the U.S. federal government.

Nani is linked with a move to Monaco or Galatasaray, although this story is neither new or particularly interesting. Dejan Lovren is linked with Southampton, Milan and Liverpool and the barrel is scraped slightly with reports of moves for Dexter Blackstock, Kyle Lafferty and Kevin Davies. Interestingly, an apology appears to none other than John Terry for suggesting he recently asked for a three year contract when he clearly hasn’t. The Sun and untruths, who’d have thought it?

The People

Under normal circumstances, a story of Angel Di Maria moving to Man City would be treated with a mixture of disdain, contempt and pity. However, after the Navas story, I half think that Nixon, Bates and co have got a direct line to Sheik Mansour, so I will let this story go without passing judgement. On Chelsea’s radar are Eliaquim Mangala and Marco van Ginkel, who is also fortunate to see himself linked to Norwich as well. Jermain Defoe is unhappy with Andre Villas-Boas using the old Football Manager trick of offering him out to clubs left, right, centre and Fulham. As was the case last week, ‘Hotline’ does not let us down. We begin with news that Victor Moses will lead a posse of ex-Wiganers to Goodison Park, along with the likes of McManaman, McArthur, McCarthy, Ramis, Kone and Dave Whelan’s dog. Stephane Sessegnon to Marseille, Ola Toivonen to Fulham, Arouna Kone to West Ham, Thomas Vermaelen to Napoli or Barcelona and Gareth McCleary to Palace all feature in a typically breathless piece. More of the same from The People.