When footballers played Flappy Bird
The best game ever played?
A lot has been said and written about Flappy Bird after it went inexplicably viral almost a year after it was made available to anyone with a data plan and a decent cell phone, and ‘the best game ever’ was certainly NOT amongst them. Yet, we humans continue to struggle through pipe after pipe, turning against our friends and families, becoming single just days before Valentine’s, losing sleep and appetite, all because of Flappy Bird.
Naturally, footballers too jumped onto the Flappy Bird bandwagon, and wore their thumbs and screens down in their effort to win the Flappon-dOr, just before the UEFB (Union of European Flappy Birders) Champions league resumes.
Cristiano Ronaldo:
Ronaldo won the last Flappon-dOr, so naturally, his Flappy Bird high score is right up there (somewhere). He continues hitting the stratosphere with his scores, and manages to beat Messi on certain occasions, even though his fans argue that he beats Messi every single time.
Lionel Messi:
Messi sits with the phone on his lap, while Xavi and Iniesta tap the phone with a finger each. Messi only hits the ‘restart’ button once the game is over, and takes all the credit for the high score.
Fernando Torres:
He is yet to finish the one game he started in 2011, because even though he tries as hard as possible to end it, he keeps on missing the pipes.
Nicklas Bendtner:
He has finished Flappy Bird. Twice.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic:
Zlatan is unable to see the screen most of the time, God ‘nose’ why.
Iniesta, Xavi, Pirlo and Alonso:
Able to ‘pass’ anything. Literally anything.
Neymar, Ashley Young and Oscar:
They roll on the floor clutching their ankles when their birds hit the pipe.
Gerard Pique and Dani Alves:
Their bird seems to fly in the wrong direction for some reason.
Sergio Ramos:
His bird flies above the pipes.
Pepe:
His game of choice is Angry birds, not Flappy.
John Terry:
He is the only one who doesn’t post his high score on YouTube, due to the adult filters. Rumour has it that it is 69.
Ryan Giggs:
Plays on his brother’s phone.
Mesut Ozil:
Taps for others while they just sit and watch him set high scores for them.
Aaron Ramsey:
A famous bird dies with each pipe he crosses
Arjen Robben:
He plays as the pipes, and refuses the bird to ‘pass’
Iker Casillas:
Silently watches over the shoulders of his friends while they play Flappy Bird.
Michael Carrick:
He hands his phone to De Gea whenever he starts the game.
Luis Suarez:
His bird bites others when he can’t beat the high score.
Gareth Bale:
Plays on the most expensive phone ever.
Mario Balotelli:
His bird develops an allergy to flying. His bird changes course and flies into a women’s prison. He takes his shirt off every time he breaks his high score. But regardless of what he does, you still love him the most.
Mario Gotze and Robert Lewandowski:
They switched from Apple to Samsung,
Jose Mourinho:
Takes Casillas’s, Kaka’s and Mata’s phones from them.
David Moyes
Takes over the game Sir Ferguson leaves midway and crashes the bird in seconds.
La Liga referees:
Their eyes are shut when they play.