"My self-esteem got to a point where I didn't want to be on the Earth anymore" - Jordan Chiles on being abused by a former coach
Olympian and World Champion Jordan Chiles recently opened up about the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered at the hands of a former coach. In an appearance on the podcast 'The Squeeze' alongside actor Taylor Lautner and his wife, Taylor, Chiles detailed the body-shaming she faced and how it has affected her.
Born and raised in America, Chiles first rose to fame in 2018 when she posted the highest scores in the competition in the floor and vault on her international debut at the Stuttgart World Cup. Since then, the 22-year-old has gone on to medals at both the Olympics and the World Championships.
However, Chiles’ journey to the top wasn't without its issues, as she dealt with an abusive coach in her initial years of training.
“I had a coach who verbally abused me and emotionally abused me. I was body shamed to an extent where I look at pictures now and say, wow, I was told I look like a sack of potatoes', when I was literally looking like a twig,” she said (at 50.04)
The American went on to add that when she was young, she didn't even realize her coach was problematic, as everyone around her said that this was expected in gymnastics. She said that her coach would often body shame her for her African-American features, and even went so far as to question if her mother was actually her mother.
Detailing the body-shaming she dealt with, the gymnast said that the harsh comments were very detrimental to her mental health.
“With the body shaming situation I've been told I had two heads because of my hair, I look like a sack of potatoes, there was one point where I was called Tinkerbell, never knew why I was called Tinkerbell, but there were just times where my self-esteem got to point where I didn't want to be on the Earth anymore. I didn't want anything to do with my life. I was like ‘what's the point if I'm always going to get told that there is something wrong with me’.”
Things finally turned a corner for Chiles when she opened up about her struggles with her coach to her mother.
“So it was so bad with her that it got to a point where I just told my mom ‘I don't know what she's doing but it's not good’. I can't look at food and be like ‘oh yeah I'm going to eat it’, like I don't eat already. I feel like I can't have ice cream when everybody else is having ice cream. There were just a lot of things that she (her coach) kinda just stripped from me. I'm still working through it.”
A brief look at Jordan Chiles’ career highlights
After several impressive performances as a junior, Jordan Chiles transitioned to the senior circuit in 2017. While her debut was largely lukewarm, things started getting better for her the very next year. She kicked her 2018 off with a bronze in the all-around event at the Stuttgart World Cup, before going on to win three golds and a bronze at the Pacific Rim Championships.
After a disappointing 2019, and a 2020 marred by the COVID-19 pandemic, Chiles had a strong start to her 2021. In February of the year, she became the first -ever women's all-around Winter Cup champion, as well as claiming gold in the vault and floor exercise, and a silver on the balance beam. Later that year, the gymnast won a silver at the Tokyo Olympics alongside the American team.
2022 saw Jordan Chiles qualify for her first-ever World Championships. Competing in Liverpool, the American won a gold in the team event, and a silver for her vault and floor exercise routines. She has also signed with the UCLA Bruins for her collegiate career and has gone on to claim two individual gold and one silver at the NCAA Championships.