Satire: The happenings around the Pro Kabaddi League

Pro Kabaddi League in action

In India, sport, beyond cricket, is a novel concept. Not only do the various national teams struggle at the international stage but also the interest in general public is next to nothing.

But then, the various sports fraternities believe that they have found a solution to the issue – combine sports with Bollywood and serve the passionate Indian audience an unprecedented amount of entertainment. Well, it worked for cricket, didn’t it? Remember IPL, how every year it enables us to see a bevy of movie stars hooting and cheering and cricketer smashing fours and sixes simultaneously.

Many experts feel that IPL is the root cause of the poor performance of the test team but who gives a hoot? For the spectators it is no less than a summer carnival, the players turn into millionaires in two months, the big corporate houses get a platform for advertisement, Bollywood gets its share of visibility, the bookies earn a livelihood, the BCCI gets to bully all around, and everybody wins. All the stakeholders return home happy.

The people who matter got down to business. Who’s first? But of course, the perennial guinea pig, hockey. The national game has already been pummeled to the rock bottom, how further it can fall. The Hockey India League is already in its second edition with no visible improvement. The team finished a miserable ninth in the recently concluded hockey world cup.

Next in line was another indigenous Indian sport slated to go through the repackaging process, the good old kabaddi. The decision makers believed that the rustic game is in a dire need of a dose of glitz and a dash of glamour. It will also lead to an infusion of cash in the game, atleast some of it will go towards the game. Thus, the Pro Kabaddi League was conceived.

The Bollywood denizens, being the generous souls they are, didn’t hesitate for even a single moment and decided to put their best foot forward. Who better than a Bachchan? They are respected for their work, revered for their craft and loved by the audience.

But it wasn’t Amitabh Bachchan, arguably the industry’s biggest superstar, who volunteered to help kabaddi, nor was it Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, the former Miss World, who still makes many a heart skip beat. Even Jaya Bachchan, the articulate speaker and brilliant actress of yesteryear gave it a miss.

Instead Abhishek Bachchan stepped forward. A man who has more flops than the number of years he has lived. A man whose odd success (the Dhoom series) comes because of the antagonists in the movie, a man who has more satires dedicated to him than the number of people in India.

But, as they say, something is better than nothing. Abhishek, actually proved to be an useful asset. He had money to invest and is insulated to the fear of losing. He made the other significant Bachchans come. He also invited almost all the big names in his industry and attracted more eyeballs for the tournament. See the thing with these actors is they are friends with people who don’t threaten their position and there is absolutely no one who feels threatened by Junior Bachchan.

What’s more, his pink clad boys also proved to be the best team in the competition and emerged as champions.

While things were all hunky dory in the stands there was no one to understand the plight of the players. Several players in the league are world champions, as India won the last Kabaddi World Cup in 2013. These are men who pride themselves as masters of a game that thoroughly examines the speed, skill and stamina of a player. It is not unreasonable of them to seek a modicum of respect and admiration. The event is all about them, after all.

But here too, they were left in the lurch. The media who had come to cover the game had some other priorities as well. A few snaps of Aishwarya Rai, which is always a must. A few clicks of Amitabh Bachchan along with Shah Rukh Khan, Sachin Tendulkar and Aamir Khan, which can be headlines stuff. Surely no one was going to miss these sorts of gold mines for a stupid game of kabaddi!

Add to that the presence of Aishwarya Rai, the Aphrodite herself. One look of appreciation from her can take your breath away but the rules of the game dictate that one has to hold his breath and chant ‘kabaddi-kabaddi’ while entering into the opponent’s territory. To say that a super human effort is required to pull off such feat would be an understatement.

The tournament apparently saw good turn outs, people came out in numbers. It's not often that you get to see Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan and Sachin Tendulkar together, do you? As a result, people who invested money in the tournament got their worth back. The stars made their presence felt. The players played kabaddi. Again, everybody wins, everyone’s happy.

What might happen of the game, you say? Well, if the League becomes a success, it will take the traditional Indian game to uncharted territories and help it scale new heights.

Even if the noble concept of Pro Kabaddi League fails, the game will continue to thrive the way it has all these years. The true enthusiasts, in some distant corner, away from the limelight, will hold their breath and enter the opponent’s territory chanting ‘kabaddi-kabaddi -kabaddi.’