"I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up" - UFC strawweight Karolina Kowalkiewicz reflects on battling depression amid losing streak
Karolina Kowalkiewicz, who competes in UFC's strawweight division, has addressed her battle with depression when she lost four consecutive fights in the promotion. She recalled swallowing pills just to get some sleep while hoping that she would "never wake up".
Kowalkiewicz is a Polish mixed martial artist who had a promising start to her UFC career. The 35-year-old recorded victories over formidable opponents, however, things haven't gone her way in the past year and a half.
In a recent interview with MMA Rocks, Karolina Kowalkiewicz weighed in on her struggle with depression.
"I crippled myself. I cut, burned. Once, the situation was so bad that I swallowed the pills. I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. I woke up in the hospital," Kowalkiewicz said.
While it was incredibly difficult for her to cope with the ruthless sport that MMA can be at times, Kowalkiewicz admitted that ultimately it was martial arts that helped her overcome depression.
"Once, in an interview, I said that sport has saved my life and I meant that. This is not a metaphor. A lot has changed when I started training Krav Maga. I gained some confidence and found a passion. This passion, this love for sport saved my life," Kowalkiewicz added.
A glance at the MMA career of Karolina Kowalkiewicz
Karolina Kowalkiewicz commenced her MMA journey on a high after she turned professional in 2012. The Polish fighter first competed at KSW (Konfrontacja Sztuk Walki), a Poland based MMA promotion, where she won the KSW flyweight championship.
After amassing a 7-0 record at KSW, Kowalkiewicz signed with the UFC in 2015. She fought Rose Namajunas in a strawweight title eliminator at UFC 201, and defeated the future champion via split decision.
Karolina Kowalkiewicz then locked horns with Joanna Jędrzejczyk for the strawweight title, but she came up short against her fellow Polish opponent. Kowalkiewicz lost her next fight against Claudia Gadhela, before bouncing back with a pair of victories over Jodie Esquibel and Felice Herrig.
Since then, Kowalkiewicz has lost four of her fights against the toughest competitors in the women's division today - Jessica Andrade, Michelle Waterson, Alexa Grasso, and Yan Xiaonan.