"Was a month away from putting a bullet through my brain" - Colts RT Braden Smith opens up on struggles with OCD
Nobody knew why Indianapolis Colts offensive tackle Braden Smith was placed on the non-football illness list last December. Now, Smith has opened up about the recent health issues he has been dealing with.
Smith spoke to Joel A. Erickson of the Indianapolis Star and opened up about his battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder. The 2018 second-round NFL Draft pick played 761 snaps in 12 games last season before he and his wife decided he needed to seek professional help for his OCD.
“I was physically present, but I was nowhere to be found,” Smith said. “I did not care about playing football. I didn’t care about hanging out with my family, with my wife, with my newborn son. . . . I [felt like I] was a month away from putting a bullet through my brain.”
Braden Smith then dove into how his OCD manifested itself in the form of religious scrupulosity. He differentiated between his belief in the "true, living God," and "my OCD god."
“There’s the actual, real, true, living God,” Smith said. “And then there’s my OCD god, and the OCD god is this condemning [deity. It’s like every wrong move you make, it’s like smacking the ruler against his hand. ‘Another bad move like that and you’re out of here.’”
The treatment Smith underwent for his condition included a 48-day stay at a facility in Colorado, before undergoing ibogaine treatment in Mexico. After treatment, his OCD was downgraded from being considered severe to mild.
Colts excited to welcome back Braden Smith as they chase return to AFC South title
Braden Smith is a major part of the Colts' offensive line, as the organization signed the 29-year-old to a four-year, $72.4 million contract extension in July 2021. Colts general manager Chris Ballard expressed his excitement in getting Ballard back on the cusp of the 2025 season.
“Getting Braden Smith back, and he’s in a great spot,” Ballard said. “I think people forget how good Braden is.”
The Colts finished with an 8-9 record last season, missing the playoffs and finishing No. 2 in the AFC South division rankings when it was all said and done in 2024. Indianapolis is now testing the waters at quarterback, after signing Daniel Jones to compete with Anthony Richardson for the starting quarterback role this offseason.
While they figure out who will be their starting signal-caller as they attempt to win their first AFC South title since 2014, one thing is for certain: Smith will be back in the lineup blocking for the quarterback.