What is perinatal psychology? Lilly Jay's occupation explored as she breaks silence on divorce from Ethan Slater
Dr. Lilly Jay recently opened up about her divorce from actor Ethan Slater. Jay, a clinical psychologist, wrote a personal essay for The Cut, published on Thursday, December 19, 2024, addressing their split and how it impacted her life and career.
"No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, in the same way we don't board a plane expecting it to crash."
Jay married her "high-school sweetheart," Slater, in November 2018, and the pair welcomed their son in August 2022. However, less than a year later, the actor filed for a divorce. Around that time, rumors of Slater dating his Wicked co-star Ariana Grande surfaced (to be noted at the time that Jay and Slater were separated).
Elaborating on the divorce, Lilly Jay continued:
"As a perinatal psychologist, I knew all the statistics — how vulnerable a marriage is in the postpartum period, how vital community connection is in preventing depression and anxiety, how new parenthood impacts a whole family."
According to Hardwick Psychological Services, perinatal psychology deals with "psychological and emotional experiences of women, infants, and families during the perinatal period." It is the time preconception through the first year after the baby's birth. Those working in the field focus on the well-being of both parents and infants during this period, including educating on the psychological and emotional changes, providing support, treating conditions, among other things.
"I really never thought I would get divorced"—Lilly Jay on her relationship with Ethan Slater
In her essay, Lilly Jay elaborated that she, along with Ethan Slater, moved their 2-month-old baby to another country to support her husband's career. At the time, Slater was shooting Wicked in England (production began in December 2022). While Jay does not elaborate on when and how their marriage ended, she noted that she was:
"Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us."
Jay described feeling that their "family was whole" when she gave birth to her son. The doctor continued to remark:
"But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity."
Lilly Jay described her days with her son (following the divorce) as "sunny" but added that there were "darker" days when she couldn't "escape the promotion of a movie" that she associated with the "saddest days of (her) life."
Despite their change in partnership, Jay noted their "parenthood" has not changed, adding that they both "love (their) son 100 percent of the time."
Lilly Jay also commented on the public attention and its impact on her career. Jay explained that she is focused on helping her patients rather than "documenting" her life for "public consumption." She explained that she wasn't sure how her "career had been impacted" but noted:
"(The) publicity I did not consent to increasingly feels like both a challenge and an opportunity."
Lilly Jay concluded on a positive remark, writing:
"My entire adult life, I feared that loss of control and postpartum depression would destroy me. One day in London, I looked up and found that they had both arrived. And I am okay."
Wicked premiered on November 22 and is currently running in theaters.
Both Grande and Slater have kept their relationship private. In an October 2024 interview with GQ, Slater explained it was "difficult" that people were commenting on and looking at things about his private life. Last month, Grande told Vanity Fair that she "disputes specific allegations," and she was disappointed that people "believed the worst version" of the rumors.
Neither Ariana Grande nor Ethan Slater has publicly reacted to the development at the time of this writing.