10 managers and what they want from Santa Claus
Football management is hard work. Like Brendan Rodgers would say, it requires a lot of “character”. You win, the boys get the bouquets. You lose, you get the brickbats. And the boos. And backseat advice. And the sack. And the pressure can get to you, unless you’re as tough as a corkscrew, like this man was.But unlike this man, the managers today are mere mortals. So, let’s get rid of the “if only” train of thought. Well, it’s that time of the year again. When the joy of giving is in the air, and jingle bells are on the way. With Santa speeding down the aisle in his one horse open sleigh, the managers are ready with their checklists. After all, Christmas isn’t Christmas without the musings of Ebenezer Scrooge, the re-runs of It’s a Wonderful Life and the fables of Secret Santa Gifts. And them gaffers are no different. Here’s a peek into their very own Christmas wishlist.
#10 Louis Van Gaal - Goals, goals, goals
Much like the troll with the wand in its nostril in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Manchester United is a drowsy, dizzy giant giving the impression of crashing down any moment. And much of this drowsiness and dizziness is down to Louis Van Gaal’s infamous and invisible “philosophy”, which has turned Old Trafford into Insomnia Cafe. With his arrogance, stubbornness and purported genius being repeatedly rendered ineffectual by weekly mediocrity, it is time for the United manager to wake (people) up.
Only two things can save Van Gaal’s face, and probably his United tenure now – winning the Premier League, which even Santa can’t assure, given how topsy turvy the season has been; or scoring goals. You can get away with playing Nick Powell and Guillermo Varela as long as you’re winning; you can get away with endless passes sideways and backwards as long as you’re scoring. Right now, United is doing neither. His has been a fail-o-sophy