Satire: 6 excerpts from Harbhajan Singh's upcoming autobiography
Illustrious Indian cricketer Harbhajan Singh, better known as the Turbanator for his overused talent of running through the opposition line-up with uncanny regularity is finally set to release his long-pending autobiography titled ‘From Pav to Bhajji’. The charismatic Navjot Singh Sidhu is said to have penned the preface of the book that’s slated to release on April Fools’ Day next year. This autobiography is going to be the debut product of the publishing company set up by swashbuckling Indian middle-order batsman Suresh Raina’s nephew.Although scripting the tale of a career as controversially profound as Harbhajan’s apparently promises mildly more than a handful of fireworks, the man is keeping tight-lipped about most of the content despite being posed with questions at hotels, restaurants and even multiplex washrooms. The author here, however, caught up with him during a morning walk by what may seem as divine intervention and was fortunate enough to unearth quite a few excerpts from the manuscript.Note: This is just a work of fiction and is only meant for humour
#6 Suing Pepsi over \'Change the Game\' advertisements
“It was foolish on my part. They conned me into believing that holding the cherry like that would actually get the turn which I had never even dreamt of. So I went about practicing it day and night – with oranges, apples and any round object that I could lay my hands upon. I had mastered it by the end of the week, and the plan appeared workable when this Kiwi batsman who turned up at the nets got beaten time and again.
The ‘ungli mein tingli’ grip was so out of the box that it made me forget my conventional grip – something I had practiced for the previous fifteen years. My career was destroyed and the Pepsi guys had to pay for fooling me into annihilating my career with my own hands. The doosra – my cherished doosra – was gone forever. It was like losing your own child.
The case is still pending in Mumbai High Court. I don’t know how I’ll get my grip back, but I want Pepsi to face the ordeals of the law. They’ll remember this the next time they conjure some weird advertisement that speaks of innovations that the game never really had.”