Crazysportsfreaksville - The story of a far far away land

“But Maa, I’ve been playing with this other guy for so long now. I hate Suresh. I won’t play with him.”

Once upon a time in a land far far away, there lived two friends, Ramesh and Suresh. They used to often participate in their land’s sporting events and together used to make the people of ‘Crazysportsfreaksville’ quite happy. The accolades they received made their guardians happy too.

But as any story goes, one day Ramesh and Suresh had a falling out. Not the kind where you trip out of an open door of a plane, but the one where you no longer like each other. Thus, one bought a house on the leeward side of the hill, while the other wandered for greener pastures. They say some lives are connected through time. Certainly these two friends’ lives were. Once again ‘crazysportsfreaksville’ (csfv) called upon them to play together.

Ramesh said, “But Maa, I’ve been playing with this other guy for so long now. I hate Suresh. I won’t play with him.”

So CSFV told Suresh to play with ‘that new guy’. But Suresh said “Nooo! I’m not playing with him. He’s just a beginner. He cramps my style.” So the fair people of CSFV decided to bargain with Suresh. They decided to let Ramesh play with the other guy, while Suresh was offered eye-candy. He was told he could play with this pretty young girl who is a real head turner.

Now the Mayor didn’t have a hotline on which he could call the ‘Powerpuff” girls, so he decided to call on the Powder puff woman. Believing he had a shot (at winning the sports event) with her, Suresh agreed. But lo and behold, no one had asked the girl what she wanted. She was beside herself to learn that her own town would engage in such ‘pimping.’ She felt a new show called ‘Pimp my pride’ was in town. So Crazysportsfreaksville had to pacify her too. And apart from ‘diamonds’, she liked her Mommy. Thus, she was allowed to take her mom along for protection.

So finally, CSFV had their teams together – Ramesh and the other guy, Suresh with the new guy and ‘powderpuff girl’. Of course the event consisted of various sports. So amid the second episode of ‘pimp my pride’, the other sports persons were devoid of slippers, shoes, place to practice, food, band-aids, Crocin, Zandu Balm, Pepsodent toothpaste and all the unwanted things.

They didn’t complain. Among those athletes is the only woman people wish some delinquents come across so that she can punch their skulls into the ground – Mary Kom. CFSV has high hopes from her.

Then there’s another Bindra, probably the only North CSFVian to have not shot someone in a pub, even though he is surprisingly good at shooting. Then there are a few Robin Hoods and Maid Marians aiming their arrows at a target painted like the mayor’s face. After something similar to her surname was banned in Maharashtra, Jwala Gutta will be hoping to win a medal. And of course, Saina Nehwal and Sushil Kumar.

All kidding aside, after all the hurdles put forth by our own Indian Olympic Association, our athletes managed to qualify for this mega event. They are the flag bearers of our nation. Here’s wishing our athletes all the very best. Make us prouder!