“I was a blackout drinker” - Michael Phelps' sister reveals battle with alcoholism
Michael Phelps is known around the world for his achievements as a swimmer and an Olympian. Throughout his career, many fans have shown him unwaivering support. One such fan that many might have seen cheering Michael on from the sidelines is his sister Hilary Phelps, who has been fighting a battle of her own with alcoholism.
For many years, Hilary kept quiet about her struggles with alcoholism, but since November last year, she has opened up about the journey in an attempt to help others going through the same.
Speaking to WBAL-TV in November 2022, Hilary Phelps shared some details about her struggles with alcohol during her college days where she was a collegiate swimmer on a full scholarship:
"From the moment I started drinking, I was a blackout drinker, which means I would drink until I would forget and wake up the next morning, not know what happened, not remember the night before, and that started to get really scary when that continued after college and into my professional life"
Michael Phelps' sister Hilary began drinking in high school, a common practice for many students. She told WBAL-TV that she touched her first drink when she was just 14 years old and increased as she stepped into college freedom, where she found herself drinking until 2 AM and then getting up for practice at 6 AM:
"So I started experimenting with drinking socially in high school."
Alcoholism has a multi-pronged pathogenesis pathway, meaning there are various factors that go into developing a dependence on the substance. Alcohol abuse changes neural pathways that trigger other psychological conditions such as depression and anxiety, which in turn fuels the abuse of alcohol. The dependence created results in a very difficult experience when trying to quit.
Hilary Phelps' quitting journey
Hilary, continuing her conversation with WBAL-TV, talked about how her journey out of alcoholism began:
"It wasn't until somebody came to me and said, 'I think you have a problem.' And, at that point, I broke up with (my boyfriend), and then I went through another dysfunctional relationship because I wasn't ready to give up alcohol, which had become my best friend."
"I turned to it in every situation, whether it was a celebration or happiness or sadness or loneliness or depression... I would wake up in the morning with bruises on my legs and scratches on my arms and not remember how they got there. Then, it started to feel really dangerous and scary."
After these experiences, Hilary made a conscious effort to try and quit by going to therapy where the therapist asked her whether she was abusing alcohol:
"I said, 'No, not really.' She said, 'How much do you drink?' I was a wine drinking, and at that time, I was drinking two bottles of wine a night by myself and then if we go out, more on top of that. I said, 'Well, I only drink two glasses of wine.' She said, 'Well, how big are those glasses?'"
The therapist, understanding what Hilary was facing, took her to a 12-step program that didn't really do the trick. However, an anonymous friend came to help her by threatening to out her to her family:
"I had someone say to me, 'If you don't get help, I'm going to tell your family.' And, that felt really shameful, and I was really embarrassed because I didn't want them to see how much I was suffering and how much pain I was in because I'm the oldest, the strong one, the nurturer"
She checked herself in to an outpatient rehab facility where she finally found her footing again:
"I'm grateful for the people in the rehab and the treatment facility in 12 Steps that helped me find my footing, my voice and spirit again."
In June 2022, Hilary celebrated 15 years of sobriety.