"I wanted to be a superhero" - Michael Phelps opens up about 'looking suicide' in the eye'

Michael Phelps has been the epitome of success in the sport of swimming. He has done many extraordinary things in the pool by breaking several world records and by winning a huge number of gold medals.

After the conclusion of the 2016 Rio Olympics, Michael Phelps retired from competitive swimming. But ever since his retirement, he has been constantly discussing about the importance of mental health.

In a recent interview with People, Phelps spoke about various topics which include managing his mental health. The GOAT swimmer said:

"I'm a Cancer. That's what we do. As a kid though, I wanted to be a superhero. As an athlete, I couldn't show weakness. I'd compartmentalize things and I used them to fuel me, which, at the time, yes, they were great."

Phelps claimed that he had learned to compartmentalize his emotions at a young age because he was an athlete. He also stated that compartmentalizing things was helpful in fuelling himself, but insists that in the longer run, it was not healthy.

"But in the long run, those things piled up and I became a volcano, and that's not healthy. Two weeks later, two months later, you get sideswiped by all of these emotions that reappear that you thought you handled. I could go for hours about compartmentalization."

Further during the interaction, Phelps revealed that he took a Michael Jordan-style approach to competing.

"I was like Jordan in a way where I could create these stories and these narratives in my head that make me go to a different level, and I think if you find or chat with any of the greats, I feel like we all have that in us but I think there could be a more healthy approach to that. I probably could have won a couple more gold medals that way, but that's not something to really be proud of."

In post-retirement life, apart from watching his kids grow up and owning his own brand of swimwear, Phelps has been actively involved in advocating for mental health awareness.

Michael Phelps elaborates on the importance of therapy in his life

According to the People, Michael Phelps believes that opening up to the world about his own struggles with mental health will inspire others to look after their own well-being.

Phelps revealed that before finding therapy when he saw in the mirror, he was only able to see a swimmer and not a human as per the aforementioned source. Back in 2014, Michael Phelps was arrested on DUI charges. According to the People, the GOAT swimmer spent 45 days in a group therapy program.

The Olympic gold medallist said:

"Coming out and really talking about in 2014 when I was looking suicide in the eye, it took me becoming vulnerable to have a chance at this thing called life."

He added:

"You're just supposed to spill it all out, and you're like, 'This is awkward'. But honestly, afterward, I didn't compare myself to what everyone was going through."

Michael Phelps shared the experience of his first one-on-one therapy session with a therapist. To a champion swimmer who has conquered so many competitions, his first one-on-one therapy session was a new challenge for him.

"I didn't know what therapy was going to do or not do for me, but I just got to the point where I said, 'I don't care what it feels like or what people say, I want to feel better', and I'm somebody that, if there's one hundred different roads that I can take, I'm going to try every single one of them."

Michael Phelps claimed that he felt like a different person after the therapy.

"I'm sure I cried my eyes out. My shoulders were higher, almost like there was a weight that was taken off of my back."

The Olympic gold medallist stated that staying consistent with his mental illness has become a part of his everyday mission. He admitted that he wouldn't change anything about his competitive career in swimming. But Phelps insisted that if he is given the chance to change, the only change is he would pay more attention to his mental well-being.