Simona Halep: "Since I received my doping suspension, it’s as if I live every day with this pain and anxiety"
Simona Halep said she's been going through painful spells of anxiety attacks ever since she was handed a four-year suspension by the ITIA (International Tennis Integrity Agency) earlier this year.
The ITIA found Halep guilty of intentionally violating tennis' anti-doping programme after she tested positive for Roxadustat at the US Open last year. The Romanian has now lodged an appeal with the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) and is set for a hearing in February.
Speaking in an exclusive interview with French magazine Paris Match recently, the former World No. 1 opened up about her struggles in the meantime, stating that her day to day life has been filled with turmoil in the last few weeks.
Thankfully, Halep also noted that things have gotten better for her, thanks mainly to her staying in touch with her psychologist and getting the mental health help she needed. The Romanian, who continued to profess her innocence, reiterated once again that she is a "victim of injustice" and that she has nothing to reproach herself for -- an attitude that has helped her cope with recent bouts of insomnia.
"I went through periods where I couldn't sleep, where I had anxiety attacks. I am known to be a very emotional player. Before matches, stress caused me very severe abdominal pain. Since I received [my doping] suspension, it’s as if I live every day with this pain and anxiety. Although today things are a little better," Simona Halep said.
"We are still in touch, and [my psychologist] helps me stay calm and manage my anxieties. Generally speaking, talking to someone is always a good thing. It allows you to vent, to relieve yourself a little, to learn to accept, even if, in my case, it is difficult, because I am the victim of an injustice. On the other hand, I know that I have done nothing wrong and that I have nothing to reproach myself for. Seeing things this way helps me fight insomnia," she added.
"Nobody blames me for anything, the people support me beyond what I could have imagined" - Simona Halep on feeling the love from fans in Romania
Simona Halep was also extremely grateful for all the love and support she has received from fans in Romania during this ordeal, stating that she has received thousands of messages of encouragement in her "fight for the truth."
The two-time Grand Slam champion believes that such messages of support, from fans as well as her colleagues on tour, is proof that they know she hasn't betrayed the values of tennis, a sport for which she has dedicated her entire life.
"Nobody blames me for anything. The people support me beyond what I could have imagined. I have received thousands of messages of encouragement from people who hope to see me back on the courts soon. I feel them at my side in this fight for the truth."
"They don't believe for a second that I could have done anything wrong. It means a lot to me, just like the messages of support from my former opponents. It’s the most beautiful thing for me! It shows that those who know me know that I have not betrayed the values of tennis. I have respected this sport my whole life," Simona Halep said.