Satire: Al Qaeda triggers Nadal's first round Wimbledon exit

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and meant to be in jest. The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the site.

Nadal knew something was terribly wrong when Sania Mirza sent him a good luck text hours before the start of his Round 1 game at Wimbledon. He was up against Steve Darcis, a name not many of us were familiar with. Against an opponent ranked 135, it was expected to be a walk in the park for Nadal. It was, in a way, as Nadal struggled to run around and make swift moves throughout the game. He started like MS Dhoni, but didn’t end the game like him and instead did a Misbah.

We’ve seen a few sporting legends like Sachin Tendulkar, Sunny Leone and also Rafael Nadal himself, having problems below their belt. But it doesn’t appear to have affected their game despite all the itching, pulling and adjusting. However, there was a different story to be told yesterday. “The moment I struggled to run, stretch and make quick moves, it occurred to me that there was a problem with my underpants,” Nadal said.

“I often rely on my underpants to irritate and annoy me, so that I vent it out on the racquet and the tennis ball. But yesterday, the discomfort was missing. There was absolutely no fire at all. As soon as the game was finished, I ran into my room and checked my underpants. They weren’t mine. ” added a dejected Rafael Nadal.

Before any news channel decided to conduct a sting operation to find out who switched Nadal’s underpants while he was having a shower, Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the same. Leader of the troop and a die-hard tennis fan, Fedjomurga Shakiams  (his name coined after joining the short names of his favorite Tennis stars Federer, Djokovic, Murray, Tsonga, Sharapova, Kim Clijsters and Venus Williams), said he switched it with his own brand of underpants to ensure Nadal lost.

“I scratched all night. I touched all night. I got big big bruises after wearing Nadal’s underpants. But I completed my mission,” said Fedjomurga. Ravindra Jadeja had some tips to offer to Rafael Nadal on Twitter. “Try wearing your underpants over your shorts next time. It will surely annoy you. Wonder how Superman ever managed!” he said.

Lalit Modi, who was secretly watching the Wimbledon, was in contact with the Association of Tennis Professionals, proposing a UK Premier League in Tennis. He also said strategy breaks and SMS voting system to decide the finalists would help avoid such terrorizing issues in the future. Leander Paes, who heard about this, quickly transferred all his underpants to the safe deposit box at a nearby Savings Bank.

Despite it being a dark day in Tennis history, Federer fans across the globe celebrated the loss of Nadal’s secret weapon. The Delhi police, however, have promised to find Fedjomurga, the tennis enthusiast from Al Qaeda and leave him depending on how much he is willing to bribe them.