5 dream scenarios for CM Punk's WWE return

He didn’t leave the WWE, he was just napping.

We’ve waited long enough

Alright, I think it’s about time for CM Punk to make his inevitable return to the WWE, right? He was eliminated from MTV’s The Challenge before they got to the finale, his UFC dreams are looking limp since he lost his first match, he’s blocked every single person that uses Twitter...I didn’t read his run on Drax, but maybe that was a success? Regardless, he may not want to work for Vince McMahon again, but we want him to, and in the end, isn’t that what’s important? 
 
Probably not, but I’m not letting any more four-letter words go for free, so here are the best-case scenarios for CM Punk’s totally real and not-at-all-fake news return to The House That Triple H Rents.

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#1 Superhero/villain

He already has superhuman strength

Punk loves comic books. I know, it’s hard to believe that a dude with a Cobra Command logo tattooed on his body would be into kids’ stuff, but those are the times we live in. It’s also been long rumoured that CM Punk’s favourite wrestler of all time is The Hurricane, so it would make sense that he would return as a superhero/villain, dedicated to fighting the crimes levelled against the fans by the Raw is War Criminals.
 
He could pretty much wear the same gear since wrestlers are basically dudes who dress up as superheroes and villains. But when he’s not in the ring, he could wear a Vancouver Canucks hat and a Limp Bizkit t-shirt, and no one would be the wiser! Oh, he could get a whole team of superheroes! He could get Kane to join; he’s already a monster with fire powers, so we'll call him The Human Match.

Alexa Bliss is basically Harley Quinn already. Sami Zayn would be perfect as an Underdog type character named Underdude. Sometimes they would do backstage segments where they talked to a “mysterious” figure in the shadows whose silhouette is all you can see, and he would nod knowingly and with a slow, raspy voice mutter “What is up with that?” They could call themselves The Just Us League (get it? Cause CM is super egotistical).