hero-image

5 Reasons John Cena Will Retire Soon

My name’s John Cena and I’m here to stay...maybe!

 

Now, when I say “retire” I don’t mean he’s gonna leave the WWE entirely.

I’m not sure he physically or contractually CAN fully retire. Whether or not you love JC or hate him, he’s “the face that runs the place.” I’m somewhere in the middle...I’m not clamoring for another match from him, but I totally get why he’s there. And it’s not like he can’t be exciting and entertaining.

His United States Championship Open Challenge last year was fantastic, with a slew of memorable runs and matches with Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Rusev and Kevin Owens, to name a few.

He’s JOHN FREAKIN’ CENA. SuperCena. Big Match John. The literal Prototype of the top face in the company. But every career has a shelf-life, and as unstoppable as Jorts-El is, he’s gonna have to pump the breaks. Possibly sooner than you think.


#5 His Body

owweeowweeowweeowwee...

John Cena has made a career out of returning from an injury MONTHS ahead of normal earth people.

Hip, neck, elbow, pectoral tendon, ankles and knees...and that’s just what he told the trainers and doctors. Pro wrestlers are notorious for ignoring and/or powering through injuries so as not to lose their spot on the roster.

Bad move, probably, but Cena defies all odds, possibly summoning the dark arts in a successful attempt at cheating destiny, you know, for the kids.

But he’s not COMPLETELY invincible.

It’s been taking longer than usual for him to bounce back from torn body parts that would usually just be slight ouchies for SuperCena. It took him 5 months to make a full return to the ring after his shoulder surgery this year. That’s really fast but not in Cena years.

How long was he supposed to be gone from his tricep surgery in 2013? Up to 6 months? Yeah, he was back in TWO. That’s some Yellow Sun stuff, right there. Biggie Johns is known for Wolverine-style healing powers.

Whether it’s in the Emergency Room, a rehab facility, or even in the middle of a match. At No Point Shall You Call It Quits is his motto, I think. That and something about Try/Be A Friend You Can Count On/Treat People Good.

But he’s 39 years old. That’s not OLD old but it’s pro wrestler old, and John Cena may be inhuman, but he’s still a pro wrestler.

You may also like