5 WWE storylines that made no sense
WWE has been responsible for some great sports entertainment stories. Heroes are made, villains are crushed and all is right with the world.
However, there are countless others that didn't quite go according to plan.
In a world where seemingly anything goes, WWE would often still find ways to shoot themselves in the foot when aiming for greatness. Some of their ideas were absolutely bizarre. They would throw something against the wall, just to see what would stick, and sometimes what stuck would turn your stomach.
With all of Vince McMahon's creative vision, he has also been blinded by it at times. WWE has infamously misfired with some of the strangest stories we've ever seen.
Here are five WWE storylines that made no sense, whatsoever.
#5. Michael Cole becomes the scourge of WWE
With all due respect to WWE's lead announcer, he hardly looks like a heelish, super villain. But apparently Mr. McMahon thought he could transform the mild-mannered announcer into a dastardly rulebreaker.
So, he did, and what followed were some of the most embarrassing moments in televised wrestling history.
Jim Ross recalls WWE trying to humiliate him in 2011: “Michael Cole didn’t like doing it either” wrestlingnews.co/wwe-news/jim-r… https://t.co/wrD7lUfnqR
Michael Cole's on-air feud with Jim Ross took all kinds of twists and turns, including him facing Jerry Lawler in a match.
This heel version of Cole wasn't entertaining onscreen, but it also had one other flaw. It took what was supposed to be the company's trusted voice of the fans and made them distrust him. The angle would end when Lawler had an on-air heart attack. It was then decided to scrap the 'evil Michael Cole' gimmick.
#4. Perry Saturn falls in love with a mop
As part of The Radicalz, Perry Saturn joined WWE in 2000 with friends Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. Coming from the sinking ship known as WCW, the four had high hopes for a fresh start.
It worked out well... atleast for three of them, anyway.
Saturn had some early success, but then was (inexplicably) put into an angle where he fell in love with a mop. As the weeks went on and on, his behavior and affection for "Moppy" became even weirder.
RT for Perry Saturn, FAV for Perry Saturn with a mop. http://t.co/nQ4WRazCFf
One explanation for this story was that it was punishment from WWE management. Saturn had previously destroyed preliminary wrestler Mike Bell in a match. Apparently, Bell had either missed a spot or was taking liberties with Saturn and paid the price for it.
Eventually, so did Perry. It may have been punishment for him, but it was even worse for everyone watching at home.
#3. The Anonymous RAW General Manager
While this angle started out at least a little intriguing, it lost speed quickly. Unfortunately, that didn't stop it from coasting for far too long.
Imagine If 2011s Heel Michael Cole Was GM!!
That Would Be A Show. 🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/l6vSWPFwgO
In what was an attempt at a running mystery, a shadowy force took control of RAW. But rather than it being a human being? This time, it was a laptop on a podium. Every now and then, an alert would go off and Michael Cole would read the messages of an anonymous general manager.
Initially, there was a lot of speculation on who it might be. But after weeks and weeks of waiting, fans grew impatient, then bored. After a while everyone just wanted it all to be over.
In the end? The answer to this great mystery was none other than Hornswoggle - much to the dismay of the WWE Universe.
The Anonymous RAW GM was supposed to keep us all guessing. Instead, everyone was merely yawning.
#2. Vince McMahon vs. God
In what had to be one of the most Freudian gimmicks in history, Vince McMahon questioned Shawn Michaels' faith and then proclaimed himself to be more powerful than God.
On the road to WWE Backlash 2006, Shawn Michaels vs. the McMahon family was one of the main angles in the promotion. Due to HBK's devout beliefs, Vince thought it might be a good idea to inject a little bit of blasphemy into their feud.
Vince and Shane faced the Heartbreak Kid and his partner, God (no joke), at Backlash. Everyone else entered, with the All-Powerful being represented by a spotlight that moved slowly toward the squared circle.
The McMahons would win the match with help from The Spirit Squad. But he should really repent for this sinful story. Because the real losers in all this silliness were the fans.
#1. Mae Young gives birth to a hand
Everyone knows the story, because it will never go away. It's a stretch mark that's been left on the history of sports entertainment.
Typically cited as one of the most foolish storylines of them all. In an attempt at weird humor, Mark Henry became 'Sexual Chocolate' and began seducing women on the roster. This led him to begin a romantic relationship with Mae Young, who became pregnant. And that's when the whole 'hand thing' happened...
I am about to show @tonyschiavone24 the episode of Monday Night Raw where Mae Young had Mark Henry’s love child. Have a question for Tony? Drop it here. https://t.co/8xfUPeTV8o
Not only was the concept completely implausible, WWE made it worse by adding some offensive stereotypes along the way for good measure.
The vignettes were stupid, and it really did a disservice to Henry. Thankfully, he would bounce back and go on to a Hall of Fame career.