Alex Rants on RAW, May 22, 2017
For many people, it was really hard to be interested in RAW this week since Jinder Mahal won the WWE Championship from Randy Orton the night before at Backlash 2017. That win has been one of the most controversial and debated in recent memory, and has thus given SmackDown a major point of interest going into this week’s episode.
To that end, I expected the RAW writers to come up with something exciting and unique for this show, in order to actually try and remind the audience that both shows are supposed to be fighting over ratings supremacy.
Unfortunately, my expectations weren’t met. We got more of the same regarding RAW, all of which could be summed up into a few easy themes.
And with that, let the rant begin.
DQMania strikes again
I feel like we have gone back in time when it comes to RAW’s booking.
You’d think that, given how bad the show has been booked, especially since 2014, the writers wouldn’t make the same mistakes as beforehand, i.e. the same mistakes that led to a surge in fan apathy. I speak, of course, of the trend to have short, insignificant matches and a never-ending sea of disqualification finishes.
We got both on this show and that made things boring.
Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt had a five-minute match after Samoa Joe interfered, which, naturally, led to Seth Rollins joining the fray as well. Kurt Angle then chanelled his inner Teddy Long and made this a tag team main event match, playa. In seeing this, it doesn’t surprise me that Teddy Long is in the WWE Hall of Fame.
But the constant disqualifications that take place prove that the matches mean nothing. It doesn’t surprise me that audiences everywhere find it hard to enjoy WWE programming considering the most basic concept in a pro-wrestling match, that of wins and losses, is ignored in favour of dusty finishes and frequent interference.
Corey Graves himself said, in response to all of this, ‘I don’t think this is about winning and losing’, to which I say, WHEN has it EVER been about winning and losing?
If the entire goal here was to set up a brawl between four of the five participants in the Extreme Rules Fatal-5-Way, why couldn’t that brawl open the show, and the tag team match be formed out of that?
What was the point of Reigns and Wyatt having a five-minute match that didn’t tell a story or add anything new to the extensive history these two men already have with one another?
Sadly, this wasn’t the only match to end that way. Dean Ambrose faced ‘The Drifter’ Elias Samson in the latter’s first main roster match. It wasn’t that bad for the majority of its duration until the finish. The Miz, who had been on commentary, came down to the ring and hit Samson with one obviously-weak blow to cause the DQ.
Why was this necessary?
If the goal here was for Samson to have a win on his record, why did it have to come via disqualification and shenanigans? It would’ve been a much more interesting situation had Samson won cleanly and without interference, which could’ve added more intrigue to Dean’s upcoming match with the Miz.
It’s said that you can only make a first impression once. This was Elias Samson’s first impression on RAW. After spending weeks strumming his guitar randomly, he won via shenanigans. Good luck in getting over from here, buddy.
And speaking of Ambrose, he really needs to stop doing that rebound clothesline, because it looks so awful in execution. If you watched closely, Samson had to hit Ambrose and STAND THERE staring at Ambrose for a good three seconds as he completed the through-the-ropes rebound and wound up his arm for the clothesline.
Moves like this expose pro wrestling for its scripted nature, but also make it look far more of a choreographed dance than a worked fight. Dean’s a skilled brawler; he shouldn’t be forced to execute such dumb and over-the-top moves.
The short, dumb matches are back
I’m still not sure what the point of any match under ten minutes is unless it’s obviously scripted to be a one-sided squash match (if anyone out there reading this knows the answer, please explain it to me). The reason I say this is because RAW this week was filled with matches that were so short they couldn’t tell any story and made you wonder why they were even taking place.
Akira Tozawa won a three-minute match following an impressive aerial manoeuvre. Maybe the audience in attendance would make more noise for him if he actually had a character or some personality other than ‘Japanese-guy-that-yells-a-lot’.
Sasha Banks defeated Alicia Fox in three minutes, only to be attacked by Fox immediately afterwards. Fox barely sold Sasha’s match-ending offence, and her post-match assault proves the match itself didn’t mean anything.
So again, if Alicia Fox was meant to look good coming out of this, losing a match and then standing tall immediately afterwards isn’t the best way to do so because it’s contradictory, at best.
Finn Balor defeated Karl Anderson in about seven minutes. This was disappointing because a) Balor and Anderson were stablemates in the original Bullet Club years ago and have had great chemistry in their previous matches and b) Gallows & Anderson are an excellent team that have, for strange reasons, ended up as fodder for every big star on the roster.
Even Enzo Amore, the walking PSA for the dangers of caffeine addiction, has a better win/loss record that Gallows & Anderson, which speaks volumes of their treatment by the company.
Apollo Crews proved once again that he is trapped in a maelstrom of bad writing for the second straight year. He was brought up last year from NXT, despite lacking in promo abilities.
He was directionless on RAW, then on SmackDown when he got drafted later that year. Now, he’s teaming with Titus O’Neil and made himself look like an idiot by being distracted by O’Neil’s screaming from the outside.
This second of distraction was apparently enough for Kalisto to pick up a win over a man that dominated him throughout the match, short as it was. If this is WWE’s idea of a push for Crews, the only way for it to work is for O’Neil’s loud voice to become a gimmick.
Maybe they can dress him up in military fatigues and give him a new character to portray. And maybe instead of being called ‘Titus O’Neil’, they can call him ‘Field Marshal Windbag’ or something like that.
Finally, WWE has messed up with how they train new wrestlers when it comes to psychology. During the Austin Aries/Tony Nese match, Aries’ leg was taped up. Any smart wrestler would know that, taped up body part = hurt body part, and hurt body part = easier to defeat.
Why is it so hard for WWE wrestlers to pick apart a body part during a match and to take advantage of an opportunity when one arises? This is a fundamental concept, not just in wrestling, but in ANY sport and any form of entertainment. If there’s a weakness in the adversary, YOU EXPLOIT IT.
What, did the writers for this show have to empty their brains of common sense before signing up? The mind boggles.
Closing on a good note
There were only four good points on this entire show. Paul Heyman cut a great promo as usual, and this is because he has the freedom to cut them in a way that makes him unique and easily distinguishable from everyone else.
If WWE adopted this approach with everyone, they might have more stars on their current roster, as different personalities give the fans something to enjoy.
Sheamus and Matt Hardy had a pretty good match that got some solid reactions from the audience. Despite their age, the Hardys are still incredibly popular, even without the ‘Broken’ gimmick. It’s a bit sad, however, that two men that made their names as a tag team over a decade ago are more popular than the current tag teams.
The main event tag team match was also very well-executed and told a good story. The idea that Seth and Roman’s miscommunication led to their loss was a great way to build up the drama between them going forward and allowed for a fresh conclusion to this match.
My only gripe here is a personal one, as I believe the heel team would’ve had much more credibility had Reigns taken the loss and not Rollins. I understand that Reigns is the chosen one, but as Stan Hansen once said, you can’t have a good match without an opponent, and Reigns is entering a situation where no one else is at his level.
If everyone around him loses all the time or if he rarely shows any weakness, that leads to familiarity, which leads to contempt. And contempt in WWE leads to boos, disinterest, and waning profits.
The last good thing WWE did this week is that they promoted two main-event-class matches, one a triple threat and the other a straight singles match. On paper, both of these should be very interesting, as they both contain main-event-level wrestlers.
If the ratings for next week’s show still disappoint after this hype, then WWE will prove without a shadow of a doubt they have a ratings crisis on their hands.
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