Creatively Impaired: The intellectual babyface of the unwashed masses?

Like most members of the IWC, I think I know better than a multi-billion dollar company when it comes to booking wrestling shows. Also like most members of the IWC, I write about the things I think I know better about for a generally small (emphasis on small) audience. But since I’ve gotten bored of writing the same old predictions and reviews, I’ve decided I’m going to criticize (or give a big ol’ thumbs up) creative plans that WWE are allegedly going to do.

When I say allegedly, I mean that every thing I talk about in this article are things that dirt sheets say the WWE is reportedly planning on doing. Since dirt sheets are pretty hit and miss, everything I say they are planning is possible just misinformation. But hey, I need something to do on the weekend that isn’t playing GTA or masturbating, so I’m going to go ahead and write what I please. Take that small demographic of people that actually read my stuff!

Damien Sandow turning face?

According to some reports, it seems as if WWE is planning on turning Damien Sandow face. If this is true, I can only say one thing. Please don’t. There is no way to make Sandow’s character work as a fan favourite. But hey, I said the same thing about Miz’s face turn, and look how successful that’s been so far!

If WWE does go ahead and turn the Intellectual Saviour face, there is only two ways that it can be done. You can either a) put him back in the Easter Bunny suit or b) give his fans a name. Kind of like how John has the Cenation or how Christian has his peeps. They can be called Sandow’s washed mass. Anyways, a Sandow face turn is a bad idea overall, especially if we want to get that continuation of the Rhodes/Sandow feud a lot of people have been craving. Although the idea of having the Easter Bunny face off against Del Rio is pretty tempting.

Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz to take place at Survivor Series

Are we really using long term booking for the Miz? I know Bray Wyatt’s hurt and all, but can’t we just have Miz face one of Wyatt’s lumberjack rapist friends? I’m all for Bray Wyatt decimating the Miz on PPV, but I just feel like two months of build-up isn’t really worth it, especially considering the fact that WWE is just biding their time with Wyatt until Kane comes back. Who knows, maybe this is all leading up to Kane’s return, where he joins Wyatt on his war against somewhat over midcard babyfaces. All I can say is that if Kane joins the Family, he better start wearing floral pattern shirts to the ring.

The Usos still in the Tag Team Championship picture

Apparently the Usos are going to be re-inserted into the Tag Team Championship picture, and will be facing both the Rhodes’ and the Shield. A part of likes it because it puts more spotlight on an already interesting Tag division, but the other part of me hates it because there’s no reason for me to believe that the Usos deserve a shot. Yes, they are technically the number one contenders for the big penny belts, but they’ve been number the one contenders a billion times over the past few months.

The Shield has beaten them numerous times and putting them up against the Rhodes’ would just be stupid. The only thing that would get me somewhat onboard is if the Usos turned heel and joined cousin Roman (bowling!), but that idea is pretty stupid. The Usos deserve to be Tag Team Champions sooner or later, but they’re going to have to wait for the Shield and the Rhodes’ to be out of the title picture for their chance to shine.

Big Show vs. Triple H planned for Survivor Series

In the immoral words of Daniel Bryan, “NO! NO! NO!”. Yes, it seems as if WWE is pencilling Show vs. Triple H for Survivor Series, and I doubt anybody in the world is excited about it. If Triple H is facing anybody, it should no doubt be Daniel Bryan.

God knows we’ve seen Big Show and Triple H duke it out enough times over the past decade. The worst part is that if Show vs. HHH does happen, it’s probably going to be the main event. I think Big Show vs. Randy Orton would be more appropriate, or maybe Big Show vs. his feelings.

I wouldn’t mind seeing Show sit in the ring by himself trying to come to terms with himself while crying and rocking back and forth. He’s basically been doing that for the past month, the only difference being that he was reluctantly knocking out people while doing it. Well, except for Miz. Big Show was smiling on the inside when that happened.