Kayfabe Lies: Why Randy Orton wasn't arrested for arson
What’s the story?
Two days after Bray Wyatt won the WWE Title at The Elimination Chamber, Randy Orton gave up his WrestleMania WWE Title shot, earned through winning the 2017 Royal Rumble. He claimed that while Bray was the master and he was the servant, he would never face him.
On February 28th Bray Wyatt showed up on SmackDown to send a message to his new WrestleMania rival, AJ Styles, who had just won a match with Luke Harper to become the new No.1 contender. However, while Bray Wyatt was in the ring cutting his promo, Randy showed up on the Titantron.
Orton revealed that he had “screwed” Wyatt and began pouring gasoline over the Wyatt compound, which was said to be Sister Abigail’s “resting site.” Orton revealed that he was coming for Wyatt’s Championship at WrestleMania, but first, he would make Wyatt hear Sister Abigail scream before she took her final breath.
Wyatt begged Orton not to do it, however, the Viper lit the match and set fire to the Wyatt compound, which went up in flames while Bray shouted inside the ring. Wyatt cried wildly, shaking himself against the broadcaster’s table at ringside.
This left fans asking two questions? What would happen to AJ Styles’ WWE Championship match and would Randy Orton be arrested for arson.
The “Keys to the Kingdom”
While the AJ question was answered, when Orton defeated AJ the following week to become the undisputed No.1 contender for WrestleMania, the question about Orton’s arrest was left unanswered. However, we received information from our courageous and reliable source, Brave Schmeltzer, who appears to have solved the mystery.
According to Schmeltzer, when Bray Wyatt told Randy Orton that he would give him the “Keys to the Kingdom” on SmackDown after Randy had initially relinquished his WWE Championship shot at WrestleMania, he was being more literal than we knew.
On Wednesday, 15th February, the day after Randy Orton gave up his shot on SmackDown, Orton and Wyatt would go down to the local mortgage company and add Randy Orton to the lease for the Wyatt compound, making Randy and Bray co-homeowners.
Randy continued to fool Bray, as the pair would visit their local mall many times so that Randy could purchase several bits for his new home. Randy is said to have purchased cardio equipment, along with a new snake, said to be a viper of course. The viper was unharmed during the attack, as Orton had already put him in the boot of his car.
Knowing the law
In the US, arson occurs when real property is set on fire without consent or with unlawful intent. While usually a felony, arson may also be prosecuted as a misdemeanour, such as "criminal mischief" or "destruction of property."
However, as Orton owned the home, and given that the compound was completely isolated, he was able to secure a permit from the local authorities to burn down his own property, thus explaining why there were no criminal charges against Mr Orton.
Despite being able to explain why he was never arrested, we will never be able to explain how he is the babyface in this situation, we just aren’t that good. Stay tuned for more Kayfabe lies, as we completely make up stories to fill in the blanks, that the WWE writers did not.
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