Kayfabe - WWE denies the entire existence of Curb Stomp
Sources have claimed this past week that World Wrestling Entertainment have been denying the existence of the Curb Stomp. While news had been out that the move would be banned, or as claimed in later stories, “put aside”, nobody would have thought that the move itself would be erased altogether by Vince McMahon’s organisation.
“Curb Stomp? Is that some kind of new dance move?” said McMahon himself, when asked about the future of the manoeuvre.
McMahon isn’t the only one who has been on the deny spree. When catching up with his daughter Stephanie, here’s what she had to say:
“Oh, what are you talking about? Our WWE World Heavyweight Champion’s finish has always been a front-facing DDT. Didn’t you see how he won the championship at WrestleMania? He clearly planted Roman Reigns’ face into the mat using his arms and proceeded to pin him.”
The company has also reportedly been talking to every non-wrestling individual in the company about the matter. Upon luck, we encountered WWE Legend and headliner of WrestleMania XX, Vacant. He quoted:
“Oh, the Curb Stomp, yes, that’s always been my finish, I don’t know what everyone has been claiming that Seth Rollins has used it over the past few years. I made the move famous, along with the Texas Piledriver and Triangle Hold. All of these moves have been my main arsenal for quite a long while.”
On their website this week, WWE tried to morph into its viewers minds that there has always been no Curb Stomp, in an article where the first picture was of a psychologist holding a stopwatch and mysteriously swinging it. Following the article there had been a poll asking viewers if they knew what a “Curb Stomp” was, and there was a staggering result of 2% of the fans not knowing what it was. “We believe that this was a success,” said Triple H, who surprisingly does not deny that the Curb Stomp existed, but simply says he does not know what it is.
Upon contact, Seth Rollins himself had this to say: “What is wrong with all of you people? Are you disrespecting your WWE World Heavyweight Champion? My move set depends on what I say. You just have to watch. Now leave me alone, I have some content to delete on Twitter.”
The name for Seth Rollins’ new finisher, according to fellow Authority member The Big Show, is the “Curb Fall”.