Pro Wrestling Fantasy Warfare Vol. 2
We speculate about matches between current wrestling stars and past legends. And yes, this time we included AJ Styles vs. HBK!
When it comes to sports of all varieties, fans love to endlessly speculate about matching up past and present athletes.
Would Michael Jordan really be able to trounce King James LeBron? Could Khris Davis hit a home run when Nolan Ryan was pitching? And just who would win if the 1982 Cardinals played against the 2011 team?
It goes on and on. But while many sports fans can rely upon statistics and averages and a great deal of data to back up their claims, it's both more complicated and more fun to speculate about pro wrestling fantasy matches.
When two wrestlers face off, they are creating live performance art with an athletic edge. Many of our legendary stars are either deceased or past their wrestling days, but fans yearn to know just what would happen if they faced off with the stars of today.
Without further ado, here are five fantasy dream matches, including the much requested HBK vs. AJ Styles bout.
Big Van Vader vs. Brock Lesnar
There have been myriad comparisons made between these two men. While their gimmicks are not the same their reputation and tough guy status certainly is. What would happen if the two were to clash?
The Match: Brock Lesnar's music hits the PA, and he stalks to the ring with a confident Paul Heyman in tow. The crowd is divided, with some booing the Beast and others applauding. Then the lights dim low, and amid a pyrotechnic burst Vader appears in his full regalia, mask spitting gouts of steam twenty feet in the air. The Beast seems unrattled by Vader's intimidating appearance, but Paul Heyman tugs at his collar nervously. He offers some advice to Brock as Vader makes his way to the ring. Brock nods, but never takes his eyes off the big behemoth.
Vader removes his mask and climbs into the ring. Instantly he walks to the center and stands chest to chest with Lesnar. Both men stare at each other for a long moment, eschewing the opening bell as they continue the battle of wills. Eventually Vader starts jawing, and stabs a finger in Lesnar's chest. Lesnar laughs it off, but then rears back and drives his fist into Vader's jaw.
Vader is beaten back to the ropes, and Lesnar attempts to clothesline him right over. But after three hard smacks of flesh on bone, Vader remains standing in the ring. Vader shoves Lesnar back, and now the Beast Incarnate is the one driven back on his heels. Vader attempts the clothesline spot on Lesnar, but again the intended victim remains in the ring.
The two men brawl, rolling down the ropes until they reach the corner. Lesnar is now in dangerous territory, because Vader is famous for delivering beat downs when his opponent is backed into the turnbuckle. The chinks in Lesnar's armor begin to show as the repeated heavy blows from Vader drive him down until he's sitting in the turnbuckle.
Vader drags him out by an arm and a leg until he's a few feet from the corner. Ascending to the middle rope, Vader drops a massive Vader bomb right across Lesnar's chest. As the referee begins to count, Paul Heyman is slapping the apron and imploring Lesnar to recover. One...two...Lesnar kicks out long before the three count.
Big Van Vader drags Lesnar to his feet by the hair and attempts a belly to back suplex, but Lesnar powers out of his grip. The Beast drives a pair of elbows into Vader's jaw to stun him, then utilizes his MMA training to pound the bigger man until he's wobbly on his feet. Lesnar scoops up Vader and delivers a tremendous bodyslam that has the crowd on their feet. The referee counts one....two...Vader kicks out at two and a half.
The Beast straddles Vader's back and uses a rear naked choke. Vader fights to remain conscious, but it slowly fading. The referee lifts Vader's arm, and it drops limply to the side. Again Vader's arm is lifted, and again it falls. But when the referee raises Vader's arm for the third time, it remains in the air. The crowd gets behind Vader, clapping in unison as he unbelievably gets to his feet. Lesnar stubbornly refuses to release the sleeper hold, but Vader lifts him off his feet and charges backward into the corner. Smashed between the hard turnbuckle and a four hundred fifty pound man, Lesnar relinquishes the hold and slumps in the corner.
Vader runs to the opposite corner, appeals to the crowd with a roar, and then charges in for an avalanche. Lesnar dodges at the last moment and Vader only succeeds in hurting himself. While he clutches his belly in pain, Lesnar steps behind him and locks arms about his waist. The fans call out for Suplex City, and they are not disappointed. Lesnar lifts Vader for a brutal German suplex, then hangs on for another. But Vader is a very large man, and Lesnar can only manage one more German before he must release his opponent.
Heyman frantically calls for the F5. Obligingly, Lesnar struggles to lift the bigger man to his shoulders while the crowd roars. He hefts Vader up into the arena lights, but the big man drives and elbow into Lesnar's face, then does it again. After several more blows Lesnar drops Vader, who lands on his feet with catlike grace. A quick kick to Lesnar's stomach stuns the ex MMA champion, and Vader sets up for the powerbomb. The ringposts shake with the impact as Lesnar is driven to the mat by Vader's full strength. Exhausted, the big man collapses across Lesnar's body. The referee counts one...two...three!
Winner: Big Van Vader
Analysis: Lensar is a true beast, but he comes up a little short against the legendary Big Van Vader. Vader's greater size and unparalleled toughness allowed him to weather Lesnar's early offense and come back for the victory.