Smarky Re-Cap: WWE Main Event (1/9/13)

We started the show off with an interview with Sheamus. I’ve probably said this before, but I absolutely despise Sheamus promos. It’s all “fella” this and “arse” that. There is almost nothing more boring and generic than the Celtic Warrior’s promos. Anyway, we cut to Josh Mathews going to interview Ziggler, who is cut off by a surprisingly charismatic and energetic Big E Langston. It’s a little weird to see a guy of his size laugh and make jokes. Although his mic skills are pretty good, I think it would’ve worked better if he was a silent bodyguard.

I have no idea why Main Event does this, but for some reason, the “main event” of Main Event is never actually in the main event. It’s an extremely odd format to have the most anticipated match go on first. Imagine if Rock versus Cena opened WrestleMania. It’s just weird. Anyways, Sheamus and Ziggler come out for their match, with Big E and AJ accompanying the Show Off to the ring. The majority of the crowd is pro-Ziggler (or pro-Sheamus, as Lawler would say). I’ve always wondered how a heel that gets cheered so much feels about the crowd’s reaction to him. Does he like that the crowd recognizes his talents as a performer, or is he frustrated that he isn’t eliciting the negative reaction he’s supposed to? Either way, Ziggler’s way to the top isn’t being slowed down. The match between Ziggler and Sheamus was pretty good (like usual), and featured an ending that made both men look strong. After Sheamus hit Ziggler with a Brogue Kick, Dolph rolled out of the ring He would get up before the ten count, but would decide to take the count-out loss and not go back in the ring with the Celtic Warrior. It may not seem like a minor detail, but I noticed that the ref didn’t restart the count when Sheamus exited the ring to go fetch Ziggler. I know WWE is a little easier on some of the rules now (Big Show should be DQ’d every match for closed fists), but this thing seems like something that could have easily been worked around, as the only reason they did it was most likely due to time constraints.

Anyways, after the match, Big E Langston started making some weird noises while opening and closing his mouth uncontrollably, which I assume to mean that he wanted to get in the ring with Sheamus. I think a Big E versus Sheamus match would definitely be interesting, as both are brawlers who don’t really get enough credit for their in-ring ability (mostly because they aren’t Indy guys). Big E would back down and rejoin Ziggler and AJ, leaving a victorious Sheamus to celebrate in the ring while we go to a Raw re-cap. Since Main Event showed a video package of Monday’s promo between the Rock and CM Punk, I feel this is a good platform to discuss what happened.

CM Punk and the Rock had a better segment than Rock and Cena ever had. It’s the truth. And based on what I’ve read from other fans, I feel as if this match is more anticipated than Rock versus Cena. Especially after that amazing back and forth from Raw. “Your arms are just too short to box with God” is probably one of the best wrestling quotes from the last decade, and I hope this match makes WWE a lot of money, because it really should. Anyway, back to Main Event!

We come back from the commercial break for the match that really should have opened instead, Wade Barrett versus Zack Ryder. I’m not one to complain about things, wait, who am I kidding? I’m a member of the IWC, of course I complain about things! Zack Ryder has been extremely vocal on social media as of late, expressing his frustration with not being featured on Raw or Smackdown. Well Ryder, I’m sorry to say this, but you bring absolutely nothing to the table that earns you a spot on Raw or Smackdown. You have a gimmick that no one can take seriously, your in-ring ability is sub-par at best, and to be honest, there are so many guys on the roster who get way less TV time than you do that are 20x better than you. So just be happy you are still employed. Anyway, Barrett would defeat Ryder with a Bullhammer Elbow after a decent match.

Overall, Main Event delivered on what it’s supposed to deliver. Wrestling. I just wish that they actually had the main event in the actual main event of Main Event.

WOI BARRUH!