Total Divas ep. 611: Draft services
Welcome back to where “diva” is still a word.
As soon as The Bellas are off TV, they’re back on within a week. So as soon as I think I have a moment to ice my head, stitch up my wounds, and find a new therapist, I’m right back in the trenches.
Total Bellas is rough to cover, so I have a feeling Total Divas is gonna be rougher. With TB, it may have seemed like a war going on in my head, between, good and evil, dark and light, Nikki and Brie, Bryan and Cena, Doctors and everybody, JJ and me. But with it also came seeing Daniel Bryan get better and finding out that I love Johnny Ace.
And one time Sami Zayn, that was fun.
So it was bearable at times, but I don’t have the same positive outlook for Total Divas, season something point whatever. They don’t really stick to traditional “seasons,” so who knows?
All I know is this show has been concentrating on cuddle relationships between the Superstars, and now we have a Draft/Brand split coming up to decide the fates of...um...I guess whichever people they decide to concentrate on this time, plus Nikki Bella all the time if you’re not sick of her yet.
Alright, let’s get stupid…
Cuddle-time is over! Maybe!
We have a few prominent relationships that may or may not be affected by the Brand split and here they are:
Dean Ambrose and Renee Young
Naomi and Jimmy Uso
John Cena and Nikki Bella
The Miz and Maryse
Rusev and Lana
Natalya and relevance
Eva Marie and a job
Paige and sanity, possibly a boyfriend
Summer Rae and airtime
See, with the brand split, Superstars will be relegated to one of the two big shows, Raw or SmackDown Live. Meaning, if you’re in a relationship with someone in the company, and you get drafted to Raw and they get drafted to SmackDown, then you will never see them ever again, ever. I think. At least that’s how they’re acting.
Nikki is more concerned with getting cleared by WWE to wrestle now that her neck seems good, than with whether or not she and John get drafted to the same show. This makes sense since when Cena’s not in the ring, filming non-WWE movies, scaring children at the hospital, or working out, he has to power-down and be kept in a life-sized, hermetically sealed toy package.
It also makes sense because Nikki can’t stop thinking about Nikki unless it’s to bag on her twin sister.
Brie is retired, went home to have babies with Bryan, just as Bryan was feelin’ better and going back on the road to manage SmackDown in a general way. So, great timing, Brie.
Jimmy Uso and Naomi, and Rusev and Lana are both pretty recently married. Rusev and Lana were married on Wednesday morning if you watched the last episode of last year’s season yesterday. So that could end badly.
Dean and Renee are young lovers at the start of their relationship so the timing is garbage for them, too. Natalya should be OK since her husband is at home. Speaking of, shout out to Tyson Kidd, I hope you’re doing well.